Adult Version of Me

Choosing Cloth

2011-12-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

Before Lilly was born we decided we wanted to use cloth diapers. We wanted to produce less waste (disposables can take up to 500 years to decompose. That makes me want to throw up) and to save some money. Plus they are so stinking cute. In the summer there were days when she wore nothing but her cloth diapers. One of my old friends used them with her son & gave me info but it was all so overwhelming, though she gave us hope that this was the path we wanted to follow. Our parents used them on us but that was SO long ago;) that the cloth diapers are no longer the same. I'm a hands-on kinda gal and REALLY need to feel these things in person. To see the real differences. To play around with them. I searched the internet ad nauseum, trying to find a local place that I could meander through and try to fumble through cloth diaper land. I found a local business called Ten Tiny Piggies, which is an online store only, but offers diaper classes for free. So, to the class we went! Before the class, I was completely overwhelmed with the options, the difference between AIO, One-size pocket, Pre-fold, or what those even meant. The class was extremely helpful and we returned home with a lot of knowledge but our heads spinning a bit. Once we let the info digest, we made our wish list. Part of the bill was payed for as a gift by Jeff's parents (THANKS!!) and we got the rest. The total was under $400. It sounds like a lot up front, but over the course of time, I believe it is going to save us tons! We have used disposable diapers for trips longer than a day because doing dirty diaper laundry at someone else's house or at a laundromat is not very easy. I can't imagine the cost of buying disposables and wipes all the time.

We opted for 3 different styles and brands of diapers:

-Prefolds--old school kind that you fold into thirds, secure with a pin (though now there are other, safer fasteners like the Snappi), and then place a water proof cover over it. You can reuse the cover numerous times before it needs to be washed.

-One-size Pocket Diaper (Happy Heinys)--there is an insert you place inside of a "pocket" in the diaper. When the diaper is soiled, you change the whole thing just like a disposable. Oh--and it is called One-size because they can be adjusted throughout the waist and the length of the diaper, making it usable throughout the duration of the baby's diaper wearing days!

-One-size Diaper System (BestBottom)--These too are one-size. The thing we like the most though, is that they have an insert that snaps into the waterproof shell. It gets soiled, you unsnap one insert, snap a new one in and voila--You're done!

Each diaper has pros & cons but we're glad with the decision in what we've chosen.
We do have to wash the diapers every 2 to 3 days so our water bill may have increased, but not anything significant. And since we are blessed with an average of 284 days of sunshine, we linedry everything.

Also, after a few months we started making our own wipes. We just cut up some receiving blankets and use a mixture of water, baby wash & baby oil. They work like a charm. And knock on wood, she has yet to get diaper rash and we don't use any creams on her.

The only downside that I've found to the diapers is that we have to change her diaper more often. They aren't as absorbent as disposables, so as soon as she pees once she wants that thing off asap! That actually may help her to potty train faster since she doesn't like being wet. Hey, a girl can dream right?!

I hear some snickering ;) shhhhh

Got Milk?

2011-07-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I sure do!!

I've been breastfeeding for a little over 3 months now and so far everything has been going very well. After the initial first week of soreness, extreme fatigue & the feeling that this new little human was permanently attached to my boob, all has been easy peasy. But as easy as it's been, I've been having my fair share of DUH moments. I don't know if she had some growth spurts and my milk production increased accordingly, but the month of June was a messy one! I spent the better half of the month changing shirts and breast pads. Not only am I sticky from sweat caused by the Arizona heat, but add leaking boobs to the mix and you've got one hell of a mess!

For my birthday I went out with friends to dinner and a dance club. Towards the end of dinner I had soaked through all of the breast pads I brought with. Not only did I run out of nice new dry ones, but since I use washable ones, I had a purse (a very small one) full of sopping wet milk catchers. Classy! Then when we got to the dance club I was SO engorged & in pain that I had to retire to a bathroom stall and expel milk all over the floor, not once, but twice. It was completely ridiculous. And I was quite saddened at all the liquid gold that was going to waste. The saying "crying over spilled milk" has a deeper meaning to me now. Lesson learned: bring a big enough purse to tote a breast pump. At least my tatas looked AMAZING and big that night:)

Jeff's family came for a visit and we took them to do a little sightseeing. I forgot to wear breast pads. As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I felt my milk let down. I practically ran to the bathroom where I proceeded to fashion makeshift ones out of the closest material I could get my hands on. In my infinite wisdom I chose the rough, brown paper towels over soft-ish toilet paper. Smart! I later boasted to his family that "I can't believe I forgot my pads. That has NEVER happened before. It won't happen again!".

The next day.....

It happened again!

And again, I chose brown paper towels. Only this time, it wasn't as cleverly concealed by my outfit and when I look at the pics from that day, I can see that my boobs had some weird shape to them thanks to the paper towels.

July brings a new month. And more wisdom. Aaaaahh, who am I kidding!? I'm just waiting for the moment that I become that chick in the store with two huge wet circles over her chest. If you see me, promise not to laugh too hard.

(I wrote this July 2 but didn't post. That night I went out & leaked. everywhere. again. Guess July will be a messy month too)

Then There Were Three

2011-04-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

Our lives have forever changed. And we couldn't be any more ecstatic about it! Little Lilly Aurora entered the world & our hearts on Saturday, March 26, 2011 at 426pm. Here is the story:

Lilly was "due" March 19. We know babies come when they feel like it, so we patiently waited. On the edges of our seats. We planned on having a Birth Center birth. However, if the pregnancy made it to week 41, then we would automatically be transferred to the hospital. We really didn't want to go to the hospital & were crossing our fingers and toes that she would grace us with her presence before this deadline. We wanted to be at the Birth Center--it's what we planned on since before we even became pregnant. Mother nature had another plan.

On the 21st (Monday), I had an appointment with the midwife to see how things were going. My cervix was softened but that was about it. So that night, I started some homeopathic treatments of Caulophyllum and Cimicifuga (blue and black cohosh) in hopes of progressing things along. I started getting more contractions but still nothing with a pattern or that stopped me in my tracks. We also continued taking daily walks, sex & nipple stimulation--all the things that are supposed to help get things moving along.

Our room in the Birth Center

On the 24th (Thursday), I went to the midwife again and this time was at 2cm. She swept my membranes, which is just taking a finger, sweeping along the cervix and hopefully kick-starting labor. Again, my contractions never became too intense to where I couldn't walk or talk through them.

So, on the 25th (Friday), I went to the Birth Center again to see if I had progressed any. All morning I was having what I deemed "real" contractions. Finally! They were more intense than I had felt all week, yet I was still able to walk & talk through them. Our appointment was at 330pm. I was at 3cm, 80-90% effaced so we didn't need to do a membrane sweep again. Our baby would be here soon!! =)

walking through the halls & joking between contractions

Almost as soon as we left the Birth Center, my contractions intensified. I found myself having to actually concentrate through them. It was a very familiar feeling to me, akin to the strong menstrual cramps I always have, only stronger. Fast forward to 3am on Saturday, the 26th (and the mark of my 41st week)...I had been laboring at home all night. I rocked back & forth on an exercise ball. Jeff occasionally rubbed my lower back, which had been KILLING me! I took 4 hot showers, letting the water pummel my back & relax me. But by 3am I was tired of being at home and needed a change of scenery so we called the midwife and headed out to the Birth Center.

Jeff was thrilled he got to eat a popsicle in the tub

We arrived at the center a little after 4am, accompanied by my mom:) At 6am I was at 8cm but the baby wasn't descending. Jeff & I entered the birthing tub twice. It was such a calming experience. We had the musical stylings of Jack Johnson and Bob Marley playing in the background the whole time we were at the center. The last time we were in the birthing tub, Jeff was laying behind me and humming in my ear. The ambiance the whole time we were there was calm, quiet and warm--both physically and emotionally. When we weren't in the tub, we wandered the hallways of the center, did hip circles on the birthing ball, did lunges. I rarely laid on the bed because it hurt too much to lay down and be still. Jeff, my mom and the midwife all took turns rubbing my lower back, pushing on my sacrum during contractions--all of which helped with the pain. Somehow, in between contractions, I found the energy to joke around once in a while which really helped keep the tone of the experience calm.

Sometime around 9am (I think), while I was on all fours on the bed, one of the midwives checked my cervix and my water broke. Picture this--opening a fire hydrant! At least, that's what it felt like. Jeff confirmed that it indeed was very similar to that. We couldn't help but laugh.

At noon, 6 hours after being checked and being at 8cm, my cervix hadn't changed and the baby still wasn't descending. So, it was decided that I should be transferred to the hospital so I could receive Pitocin to strengthen & increase my contractions. I was very disheartened by this decision as it wasn't a part of our plan. We wanted either a water birth or just a relaxed birth in the bed that was big enough for Jeff and I in a calm, cozy environment as opposed to a sterile looking hospital room. I understood why the midwife wanted us to transfer and I realized it was for the best. We hopped in the car and drove down the road to Tucson Medical Center. As we were checking in, I had a contraction in the lobby and had to hold onto the wall. At least I was calm and didn't potentially scare anyone;)

Once I got hooked up to the Pitocin, it did what it was supposed to and increased/strengthened my contractions. I opted against getting an epidural and stuck with our plan of a natural birth. I've had people ask what it felt like. It hurt. Of course. But it didn't feel any different at 20 hours than it did at 2 hours in. Pain is pain. The pain never got stronger. It just got longer and closer together. So I knew if I could handle it earlier in the labor that I would continue to be fine with it. And I was right. I was surrounded by loving, caring people and that helped immensely. I kept my eyes closed through each contraction. It helped me to focus. I opened them only when Jeff asked me to. He constantly requested that I smile and ran his fingers across my furrowed brow, reminding me to relax. Apparently I never got louder than a deep moan. It felt like the whole experience, down to the last minute when the baby was born, that everything and everyone was calm and quiet for the most part. There was no screaming, no cursing, no negativity--just soothing voices and loving words. Jeff & my mom, everyone for that matter, were very supportive--my own little cheer team! Jeff kept telling me "you're a fucking rockstar!" Jeff was glued to my side the whole time--saying encouraging things, holding my hand, rubbing my back and giving me gentle kisses, keeping me calm. My mom gave me hugs, kisses, cooled my face & neck with a cold washcloth and took turns rubbing my back too. I couldn't have done it without them! The midwife and nurses were very nurturing and supportive too. I'm so happy that even though we ended up at the hospital, that they accompanied us and were still the ones to welcome Lilly into the world!

in the birthing tub at the Birth Center

About 24 hours of "real" labor, 8 of which were spent at the Birth Center. We were at the hospital for about 4 1/2 hours before Lilly was born; about 1 1/2 of that was spent pushing.

Pushing. Before I felt the urge to push, I had an internal monologue that went something like "if this baby doesn't come out soon, someone better cut me open and remove it". I fought with this evil internal monologuer because even though I was nearing a full day of labor, I knew deep down inside that an epidural was NOT what I wanted and a C-section was definitely NOT on my wish list. It's just that I was sooooo exhausted by then from lack of food and sleep I just didn't know if I had the energy to go another 4 hours. So once I felt the urge to push I was elated! I knew the end (or the beginning--depends on which chapter you're looking at) was drawing near. For anyone that has never felt the urge to push, it feels like you have to poop. Seriously. It felt great to be able to push, because instead of breathing and moaning through the contractions, you get to focus all of your energy into pushing through a contraction. Once I was pushing, I no longer felt the pain of the contractions. It was a wonderful thing! I pushed while laying on my side. I pushed while on my knees, hugging the back of the bed. I pushed while laying on my back with my knees drawn toward my chest. All with the help of Jeff and the midwife and nurse. They cheered me on the whole time. And held and pushed my legs. Once the baby was further down and out, it no longer felt like a poop, but more like a baby. Duh--who would've thought;) When I heard everyone Ooohing and Aaaahing because they could see the baby's head and there was a full head of hair (!!!) it gave me more strength to push even harder and stronger because I knew I would soon be holding my baby!

holding our baby girl for the first time

When her head was crowning, the sensation was, for lack of better terms, pretty intense! I paused for a bit, with a human's head partially out of my vagina, to allow the skin to stretch and after a couple more pushes I heard gasps, felt the baby come completely out of my body, I opened my eyes, they announced the baby was a girl and they placed her on my bare chest. Apparently Jeff cut the umbilical cord, but I missed that because I was in such awe of our baby girl. She stared calmly at me with her perfect glasslike eyes. She was absolutely breathtaking and she was my baby! I couldn't believe it.

our 1st family photo :)

The nurses never took Lilly off my body, except for a second to weigh & measure her. They did everything they needed to--the eye ointment, footprints, etc--while she laid on my chest. I ended up with a tiny tear, couple stitches. I attribute not being ripped a new A-hole to the fact that we did Perineal massage while I was pregnant and maybe because we allowed the skin to stretch during her birth. Jeff jokes that my body must have really loved being pregnant because not only did it not want the baby to come out easily, but my placenta didn't come out until a little over an hour. We had to stay in the hospital a couple nights. Though it wasn't the ideal setting, Jeff, Lilly and I spent those 2 nights together in the room. Our new little family. All of the nurses at the hospital were exceptionally nice and helpful.

We learned quickly that, as life goes, you can't always plan. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Having our baby in the hospital wasn't our plan, but the way everything turned out, we have no regrets. The outcome was what we always dreamt. Little Lilly <3

Ants in My Pants

2011-03-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

I'm sooooooooo anxious! The baby is due on the 19th and I realize babies come when they want, not on some stupid date chosen by a doc. Not usually at least;) But as the date creeps closer and closer, I wake every day more and more antsy. Since last thursday, my internal monologue has gone like so:

Is this gonna be the day?!
No.
Is this gonna be the weekend?
No.
How about today...

And so I sit and wait. Trying to be patient. There's no use in not. I'm still enjoying being pregnant (I can hear some eyes rolling). The pregnancy has been pretty much a piece of cake for me. Not that I have any personal experiences to reference to. Just judging off of other's experiences/gripes/complaints. As much as I am still relishing in the feelings and movements that come from within, I can't wait for the next chapter to begin. I'm not scared. I'm not hesitant. I'm more...curious I guess. And anxious. Have I already mentioned that? What's it (the birth) going to feel like, how is the day going to progress, will we respond the way we've been planning, what's it going to feel like holding & looking at this tiny little human that we made? I. Want. To. Know. Already!!

I'm Offended Too!

2011-03-09T15:39:00.000-07:00

Today I received a message from the Facebook gods that went something like this "Your profile picture has been removed for violating terms...blah blah blah". Apparently the above photo has been deemed by some shit head to be offensive. According to their terms, a photo cannot contain the following: illegal drug use, excessive violence, direct attacks on a group or be sexually explicit. Gee...my photo is none of those! So then WTF was it tagged and deleted for? It's true, the photo could be deemed as a sensual photo. But definitely not sexual! Not even close!! We are showing a lot of skin. But there's no nipple. There's not even breast tissue showing! And it's not like we're recreating the act that created our baby! Since when did a showing of the love between two consenting adults & a visual of the ever expanding stomach filled with a tiny human life become offensive?! You know what offends me (and this is NOT an easy task) is that someone took time out of their day to report our show of love. It's okay for barely legal girls to galavant around on the pages of FB, unbeknownst to their parents, in bikinis & bra tops, showing off ass crack and trying to be provocative, but I can't post a picture that shows off my stomach. The other thing that really irks me is that I'd like to send in a formal complaint to FB. To someone that will actually read it. Alas, I can't find any info where correspondence will be read by a living, breathing, human being. So here I sit, writing a blog about it, venting, where it will be read by possibly noone. But at least I feel better now. Go fuck yourself Facebook. How's that for offensive?!

But Everybody Else is Doing it!

2011-02-01T13:58:00.001-07:00

Okay, so perhaps the title to this entry is off a bit. Everybody USED to do it, but not so much anymore. At least, not as commonly. I'm referring to natural childbirth. Women have welcomed bundles of joy into their lives for millenia "naturally". Of course, they didn't call it "natural" because it was just what it was. Now with the advent of drugs and surgeries the "normal" way is not necessarilly the natural route. It all makes my head spin with confusion!

I guess I'll be going against the grain when it comes to having my baby. I suppose somewhat against the grain has been my M.O. for quite some time;) I understand in many countries around the world women still have their babies the way nature intended. And I also realize there are vast numbers of women in the US who do the same. However, only 1 person in my bubble of existance has gone the au naturale route--to my knowledge. And she was still in a hospital hooked up to machines and things that would make me feel like a science experiment. Unless you count my mother who unknowingly was in labor for a whole weekend before I came prematurely at 33 weeks. Once she realized I was coming fastly and early into this world, it was too late to take drugs. I'm not sure if she would've opted for them had she been given the chance. So noone that I know and can converse with about it on a super personal level has gone down the path I...we, are about to embark on. A path that we've chosen since before we got pregnant. (though a few friends have expressed this desire the next time they have a baby & have been very supportive in my decision--thanks!)

I'm no hero. I completely understand the need for pain medication. The WANT for it. I have no qualms, concerns nor reservations for my friends that are so drugged up during their child's birth that you could saw off their leg and they wouldn't feel a thing. If that's what you want, then fantastic! I don't blame you one iota. I whole heartedly stand by your decision. Because it's YOUR decision to make. But it's not for me. I am fully aware that I am going to feel every. single. thing. that occurs on my baby's birth day. And I don't want it any other way!

We plan on having the baby at the Tucson Birth Center. The birth will be attended by one of their fantastic CNM's (certified nurse midwives), my mom and of course Jeffrey:) The center itself has a very homelike feel to it, with big comfy beds where Jeff can join me, soft lighting--just all around a cozy, secure and calming vibe. Also in the rooms are birthing tubs. I'm almost positive I will use the tub for contractions but still not sure if I'll actually have the baby in the water. I plan on just going with the flow that day and doing what feels right and what feels comfortable.

People have asked if I'm nervous or scared or a tid bit crazy for opting out of pain medications. I can positively answer NO to all of that. I hold 100% confidence in my body's ability to handle the birth, for it to be as calming of an experience as I allow it to be, for it to be a wonderful experience for all involved. I'm excited. Thrilled! A bit curious as to what it's going to feel like. But in no way, shape, or form am I scared. The only thing I'm a bit fearful of is that for some reason I won't be able to have the baby at the birth center and will have to go to the hospital. Not because of complications with the birth, but because I am out of town or my blood sugar gets out of control & I risk out of being able to have the baby at the center. Something as trivial as that scares me. But the actual birth and the pain that my body was intended to naturally endure--no fears with that! I'm completely throwing the preconceived notions of Hollywood theatrics of what a birth is like, out the window.

If you've had a wonderful, natural experience please share!

Pain in the Ass!

2011-01-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

If you're afraid of TMI, stop reading NOW.

Sadly, this is not my ass. But a girl can dream;)

I had an appointment to get waxed today. Hallelujah! It's been waaaay too long. I usually do it myself but have been seriously lacking in that department because it's very time consuming and I've just been a bit of a procrastinator. Plus it costs money to go get it done and we've had other important things to spend the dough on. However, I have been keeping everything trimmed, so there's no 70s bush to write about. Though not the ideal plan, it was working out for me for a while. Until now. I have lost sight of my vagina. That's right! The baby belly has now obstructed my view and I don't plan on blindly wielding scissors around my hooha. So I have two choices: 1--let it grow au natural (um...no thanks, it's already driving me insane!) or 2--pay someone to torture me & rip out my hair at the roots. As unpleasant as this sounds to those who've never experienced a good ol' depilation, I'd take waxing over shaving anyday. Shaving is utterly painful to me.

So, what's the dilemma you ask? I came home to take a shower so I could be so fresh and so clean for my appointment and as I lathered my crack with soap I felt something odd. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Waaaaaaaait a minute! No Effin Way! A hemmorhoid! Not anything big and serious that I even noticed earlier in the day, but one none the less. Thanks to my ever growing body, pressure on my pelvis, a bit of an intense B.M. today & sluggish circulation in the lower half of body, I now have a protrusion. It's not anything to scream about but I definitely didn't want some strange woman to freak out. And then there is the problem of me needing my actual crack waxed too--that's right, the perineum and all. I can't really have that done with things poking where they shouldn't be. Hmmphf! Here's to hoping it goes away sooner than later because my appointment is rescheduled for next week. Thanks mother nature! You are one hilarious bitch!

Dear baby,

2011-01-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

Jeff got me a journal to write thoughts, etc for and about the baby. Reading this makes me realize how fast time is flying by! I wrote this almost a month ago already, yet it feels like it was yesterday. I feel as though I'll blink a couple more times and the baby will be here.

December 8, 2010
Hello baby! You have been growing for 25 weeks in my belly. Your daddy and I have known about you since you were about 3 weeks--an embryo barely the size of a poppy seed. And now here you are, changing the shape of my body--pushing my stomach out further & further. Making space for your fastly growing little body. Back in October, around the time you were 16 weeks, I started to feel the tiny movements of you. It felt like little bubbles popping and moving. Almost like gas, but not quite. Then all was quiet for a while. Then, 2 weeks ago I felt you. And I saw you! The biggest smile spread across my face. I SAW YOU MOVE! When your dad came home he placed his giant hand on my stomach and as if on cue, you kicked (or perhaps headbutted) directly where his hand was. Ever since then you've been flip-flopping around and when you do I can't take my eyes off of my stomach. I laugh. I smile. I talk to you. I love feeling you moving; alive and growing. We joke that you're swimming laps. It's just in a very small pool:) This all seems so surreal at times. Almost like magic. I can't believe that I'm growing a human from scratch. A little bit of me, a little bit of your dad and POOF!--like magic, we have you! I can not wait to see your twinkling eyes, to hold you in my arms, to talk to you, to sing to you, to see you grow & learn & love. But for now, I will relish in this magical time when you are closer to me than you will ever be. Thank you for making me smile every day. I can't wait to watch you move around some more:)
<3, Mommy

Freddy's Coming For You!!

2010-12-17T15:07:00.001-07:00

As my stomach hastily grows (which happened in what seems out. of. nowhere!) I find myself often thinking of one of my biggest fears about being pregnant. It's not the fear of ripping myself a new asshole or shitting myself or failing and flailing at raising another human. NO! Oh no! Those worries are nothing in comparison to the "major" one. And as I prepare to type this, I realize how asinine and potentially self absorbed and ludricrous this may sound. But it's my fear nonetheless and I can't help but cringe at the thought of it. My biggest nightmare is stretchmarks. On my stomach.

I've had stretchmarks on my hips and thighs since I can remember. Probably since around the 8th grade when hips grew into my still skinny frame. My frame stayed very slender for many, many years but I've always had stretchmarks. I've always been self conscious about them. I realize that I am being over dramatic about them because most of them are faded and unless you're all up on my thigh you wouldn't notice them. At least I hope;) But I still can't help it--I don't wear short shorts & tremble at the thought of a bathing suit that does not entail board shorts. However, I've always revelled in the fact that I've had a taught stomach, sometimes ripped, sometimes not, but always decent looking. I've worn bikini tops with pride and have been known to show some midriff in my normal clothing as well.

Unfortunately, I fear as though post baby my stomach will look like Freddy Krueger came slashing his way mercilessly across my smooth skin. My midsection torn and frayed with bright red lines snaking their way across my pale skin. My pale skin that I will never again be able to show the light of day for fear of repulsion. NOT disgust from the wandering eyes of strangers, but from my own retinas. I realize that stretchmarks just happen and that no matter how much cream, body butter, lotion or oil I lather on myself that if my skin is predisposed to them (which it seems to be) that I will get them no matter my efforts to prevent. Some women claim them as somewhat of a badge of motherhood. An honor. Um...no thanks! I don't need stretchmarks strewn about my body to prove that I'm a mom. Maybe that excuse helps the stretchmark-proud-sporting-moms to sleep at night, but I'm afraid it's the one thing that wakes me from my slumber!

Happy Veteran's Day

2010-11-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

Today is Veteran's Day. So, naturally everyone is thanking those that have served, are serving or will serve. Being a veteran myself and being surrounded by military friends on a daily basis I greatly appreciate the thanks. After all, being in the military is never an easy job. It takes a selfless person to sign your life away on the the dotted line. We may not always be happy with our decision nor agree with all that is entailed in our daily lives on the job, be we do (or did) it nonetheless, with heads held high. It's a difficult thing to be far removed from family, miss out on birthdays and holidays, numerous weddings and sadly, funerals as well. Though I'm thankful to have never been in combat nor lost a fellow brother or sister in war, my heart goes out to the countless lives that have been given in sacrifice of others freedom. I can only imagine what it is like to hold a dear friend as they take their last breath. I can barely conjure the images that race through Jeff's nightmares as he tosses and turns at night, remembering all that he lived through and that others did not.

I am grateful that so many people are thankful today. I don't have school. My friends don't have work. We get to eat at a restaurant for FREE for lunch and dinner. Bonus! But it makes me wish people were more thankful on a daily basis, not just when the calendar says so. It reminds me of a time in the not so distant past when I was in the Air Force still, out to lunch in uniform, asked the waiter for the bill and instead was handed this hand written note on a napkin:

It gave me warm and fuzzies to know that we were appreciated and it wasn't even Veteran's Day. Really, it's the small things that count.

Toes

2010-11-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

I wear upon my feet, the most awesomest of awesome sandals IN THE WORLD! Meet the Yoga Sandals:

Their name by no means implies that you must practice yoga. I surely don't. Unless you count the few times a year that I intend to start and then get sidetracked a week later, leaving my yoga "practice" to collect dust. These sandals are great for anyone. They feel a bit funky at first try because there is a seperator between each toe. But man oh man, do I miss that feeling after trekking around in regular flip flops for a couple of days. In regular flip flops, I notice fatigue in my feet and calves after a short while. In contrast, when I wear my Yoga Sandals, I could walk all day long and my feet feel great! And as added bonus, I can paint my nails whilst wearing them and not worry about them getting smudged by nearby toes. The only setback is the strange side glances & whispers I get from passerbyers. If only I had a yoga sandal twin then I wouldn't feel so alone. Wonder if I could get Jeff to rock some...

Turn that light off!

2010-09-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

There are no night lights in our bedroom. The LED screen on the radio is covered. The curtains that are backed by a second panel and also with a tapestry behind it cover the window. No light is allowed to come through. Why?! Because I live with a freak! Jeff swears that he can see light with his eyes closed. I'm not just talking about if someone was blasting a spotlight on his face whilst he sleeps. Of course that would agitate us all. What he claims is that he can see even the most tiny of emulated lights through the blackness of the night. The light on the smoke detector, that is probably 12 feet high on the ceiling, urks him. Yeah--that tiny, teeny, dull red dot. For added darkening, he sleeps with a shirt draped over his eyes. Just in case that smoke detector light wakes him up in the middle of the night. And don't even get me started on what he's like when the sun is actually glaring outside. If he doesn't have sunglasses he is NOT a happy camper.
So now we always joke that he has thin eyelids. Like the extra set that crocodiles have. Or that this is his super power and he could go fight crime by the light of the moon. Though he'd probably want a new moon as I'm sure the moon would be too bright. Hell, the stars are probably blinding to him;)

I tried to search online to see if there was a name for this "thin eyelids" thing but to no avail. The only thing I could find were people more freakish than my hunk of weirdness. I'm talking about eyelid surgery! Double-layered blepharoplasty. Not to lift and remove crows feet, but the chopping off and re-sewing your eyelids! I guess some people with smaller lid openings want to appear doe-eyed but I really can't fathom letting someone near my eyeballs with a scalpel. Eck!

Weird

2010-09-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

I recently won a gift certificate from Eden Fantasys via my friend Rita over at Fighting Frumpy. I was super stoked to shop online, perusing the selection with Jeff. We didn't get anything too insane. Been there done that. Plus we wanted to stay in the $25 gift certificate budget. We ordered a game & some paint:) I was soooo excited yesterday when a box arrived from them. But then I opened it. And the weirdness ensued. A HUGE bottle of lube. A vibe. Hmmm I didn't order this shit! WTF?! Then I looked at the shipping form. It had someone else's name and address. The strange part was the address was in South Bend, IN. SOUTH BEND! That's where I grew up. And it was on O'Brien Street which is the 1st street I lived on. CRAZINESS! What the hell is the likelyhood that of all cities in the states to send me a wrong package from, it's from my home town. I just wish it had been someone I know-haha.

There was another time the cosmos brought weird shit my way. When I was living in Guam (a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean), I was in a packed nightclub and turned around to see a girl I grew up with. She happened to be in the Navy & her ship was at port for a few days. What the hell is the chances of that happening?

Working Out

2010-09-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

Who says you can't multitask while driving? Yeah, I'm totally against texting while driving. Unless you're at a red light. Or in a traffic jam. BUT there are many other things I often accomplish while simultaneously driving, always aware of my surroundings, always checking my mirrors. First off, I go insane if I don't have music blaring whilst I drive. I'm sure I'm very entertaining to the passengers in neighboring cars as I belt out songs, daydreaming I'm on stage, sometimes holding a pen as a microphone. I also like to play the drums on my steering wheel. A lot. I never do air guitar though because that's just dorky;) I remember seeing this show from VH1 called Motormouth. I thought it an amazing idea and secretly worried one of my jackass friends would sign me up for the show, airing my dreadful car concerts on national tv. Alas, I lived in Germany at the time so it never happened.

I also do most of my daily thinking while I'm behind the wheel. Which is why I don't write on this blog as often as I'd like. My mind runs a million miles a minute thinking up thousands of ideas I want to write about, where I want to go, what I want to do, ideas for the house, my hair. The list is endless. Problem is, by the time I reach my destination where I could safely jot all down, I forget to do so. Then I get home, get sidetracked or become a gelatenous blob of human goo whom apparently has no brain waves.

The newest addition to my plethora of multitasks is exercising. Whaaaa? That's right! Working out my Kegel muscles baby. Gettin' all buff and shit. Now, these exercises are nothing new to my repertoire. I've always sporatically done them to acquire, for lack of better words, more grip. If you have a vagina and don't know what Kegel exercises are, I suggest you crawl out of your cave. Click here. And get to clenching! I recently went from doing them just once in a while to doing them at least every time I'm in the car. Not only do I still strive for that firm grip but I'm also hoping to prevent some things. After I have this baby I really don't want to piss myself everytime I laugh, run, cough or sneeze. I don't want to be known as Misses Peebody. It may be wishful thinking.

Go figure that the exercise was invented, or at least popularized by an effin man, and so aptly received it's name from said dude! Because, you know, he has vaginal pelvic floor muscles and knows exactly what's it's like loosing that tight feeling. Uh, ok so maybe he does. I think it would have been much more fitting to be named something more feminine. And sweet sounding. If only a doctor named Lillian had spread the word about this exercise. "I'm off to do my Lillians" sounds soooooo much better.

Funk You!

2010-08-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

<---talk about a shitty job!

Oh my goodness what is that stench?! I just took a shower about an hour ago. What the hell! *sniff sniff* Armpits! It's my damn pits, reeking of FUNK!

Rewind to pre-pregnancy and I never wore deodorant. I rarely sweat. I could do a hard workout sans deodorant and walk out of the gym smelling semi-fresh. But now, not so much. I'm sweating my ass off just breathing. And I stink. Like onions. If I notice it, I can only imagine how offensive I am to other people. Sorry guys haha. Blame it on the baby;)

I knew with pregnancy would come weight gain, stretchmarks, leaking boobs, moodier days (like I need more of those!), possible cravings. However, I was never warned that my body temperature would rise, rise, rise and I would go from the girl that's always cold if it's below 85 with a slight breeze, to the chick that's insessantly sweating like a whore in church. Especially when I'm not even sporting a baby bump yet. Guess I'm off to get some aluminum & all the other crap chemicals-free funk reducer. Or maybe I'll mix up some concoction of oils I have at home. I'm just thankful I won't be hugely pregnant when the thermostats read triple digits in lovely Arizona.

Surprise!

2010-07-27T18:21:00.001-07:00

It's been one week that I've officially known that someday, I will be called Mom.

I took the 1st test while Jeff was at work & immediately freaked the fuck out because I've taken like a gajillion preggo tests in my life and never once has one been even remotely positive. The urine usually speeds right past the 1st window on the stick to the 2nd window, blurting out the thick, single line meaning NO. Before we talked about being ready to have kids, I would always secretly hope I got a negative reading.Once we talked about adding onto our family, I went into the pregnancy tests with a neutral feeling. I've never cried or been sad at the negative reading. I always just assumed that's what I would continue to see, as I pissed on a stick simultaneously pissing away money to EPT. I just figured I would need some assistance getting pregnant. The thought of taking fertility drugs & thus possibly having a litter of children at once is not very appealing. After all, I'm a human, not a dog--which is what I'd feel like after birthing 6 kids at once. Just sayin. But we pseudo tried for numerous months (try since about October). We weren't all insane about it, checking basal body temps with me ravaging him because I was ovulating. No! We just sort of stopped being careful. No more pearl necklaces for this girl;)

After pacing the living room, oh...about a thousand times, Jeff finally came home from work & then I took the 2nd test. That too, was positive. But it was such a faint positive that I thought maybe I had gotten a faulty 3 pack box of tests. It sounded just like my luck, after all. So I did what any girl would do, I consulted with a knowledgable person in this realm--one of my besties. After all, she has 2 kids so she HAS to know whats up with this pregnancy test. Right?! After telling me that I have now entered the Denial Stage, and that I was indeed pregnant, she recommended to "take the 3rd test 1st thing in the morning. If it helps ease your mind. But you're pregnant. For real."

So I did. And it was the same. We told our families and some very close friends but I didn't want to announce it to the world until we got an official word from the doctor, because I was obviously still swimming deep in this denial shit. Last Tuesday I went to the Dr's. The nurse, after I told her I had taken 3 tests already, laughed at me & said with dead certainty "you are pregnant, but we still want you to take a test here". How was everyone so damn certain I was knocked up when the preg test box says it's only 99% accurate? I could totally be that 1%. Duh!

But once the words flew out of that chicks mouth that I was indeed, with child, it really began to sink in. We've been on cloud nine ever since. Even though it's only been a week, it already feels like an eternity. Good thing noone has really been around us this week because we've been that obnoxious couple that won't stop talking about it. We're both giddy with excitement, but also realize this is going to be such a huge rollercoaster ride of change. My little alien (I've dubbed it this because it is so insane that there is this little poppy seed size thing, sucking the life out of me, growing exponentially & will soon come bursting out)--is only a little over 4 weeks. ONLY 4 WEEKS! I'm so happy to know so early so that I'm not boozing it up & so I'm taking better care of myself. But really, it's crazy to me because most people I know didn't find out until the 2nd or 3rd month.

Now, if we could only hurry up and find out if we're having multiples! After all, twins run in both of our families. Yikes!!

Update: After going to the doc for our 1st checkup they said even though conception happened 4 weeks ago, I am considered to be 6 weeks pregnant since they start counting 2 weeks after your last period and it's all a guessing game anyways considering pregnancies last from 37-42 weeks. So, the baby will be here sometime in march--you know, when it feels like it;)

Old Man

2010-07-15T12:07:00.001-07:00

Dad. Yeah, the title refers to the song by Neil Young. I DO NOT refer to my Dad or any guy in my life as "my old man". Blech! Everytime I hear this song I think of my Pops. His birthday (my Dad's, not Neil's) was earlier this month. I didn't call him. But this damn song keeps reverburating through my head. I could've given his cell a ring, but he probably wouldn't have answered. I tried him on Father's Day to no avail, then I called my Mom and wished her the same because really, she was my mom and dad.

I love my Dad. I always have.

My parents divorced by the time I was 5. I remember the night vividly. He was at work. Unbeknownst to him, his wife and two kids packed up some shit, left the house stealthfully under a blanket of dark skies, to never return again! Okay--it wasn't really that dramatic. He was at work. But I'm sure he saw the shit coming! We just left and stayed with my aunt & cousin which was AWESOME in my book because that was like my best friend at the time! We could play all. the. time. I was stoked! Never once do I remember really giving a shit that my parents weren't together anymore. I didn't cry and will them back together, making promises to be a good child and thinking everything was my fault. (Does that kinda thing really happen like it does in movies??) I just went with the flow.

My Dad was always there, but not in an authoritative way (my mom found other douches to take on that tyrannical role). But he never lived far from us, we could visit when the mood struck us, we were around him on holidays, the occasional camping trip. As far as that side of the family, we definitely spent more time with them so we're all pretty close. We were never traded around like ragdolls "You get them every other weekend"--none of that bullshit, thankfully! I always obeyed my Father, because that's what kids in my day did. You listened to adults. That's as far as our connection went. I never once asked him for advice, never once confided in him, never once cried on his shoulder. My Mom bared the brunt of everything, good and bad, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I DO love my Dad.

I try to love him unconditionally but he really pisses me off! I know he's proud of me and likes me to go out with him to meet all his drinking buddies. It never really bothered me until the past few years though, that we don't have a closer connection. Maybe it's because of the song. I always connected with my Dad secretly through that damn song. "Old Man take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you. I need someone to love me the whole day through". In my 20's I liked to party--HARD! I never wanted kids because I knew that if I had any, especially in my early 20's that I would be such a shitty parent. A selfish parent. And I never willed that on a poor, defenseless baby. I was like my Dad--all about myself, responsible by having a full time job but irresponsible in every other way, hopping from lovers to hopefuls in the soulmate department and everything in between. Something has changed. I WAS like my Dad. I still like to party but it's not as often. And I want kids now and I know I'd be a loving, nurturing, caring and sometimes patient parent. I would want my Dad to be a Grandpa and take some pride and satisfaction in that role. However, considering my Dad's lack of interest in other's lives I highly doubt that would happen. Case(s) in point:

my brother has a baby & another on the way. We thought that would be some sort of leverage to get our Dad to come visit but even if he did I doubt he'd be ooing and aahing over these little hyper, cute, sweet human beings.
Our youngest sister (we have different moms) just graduated from high school & practically raised herself the past couple of years and he seemed more disappointed in the fact that he was missing a pool tournament than being elated in the fact that she kept her head on straight, despite the odds, and graduated with honors and a scholarship!
When I actually told him about my serious relationship with Jeff (I've never spoken to my Dad about relationships before), he barely muttered a word.

I don't regret my parent's splitting, I completely understand and empathize what it's like to be in a miserable marriage. I am completely fine with not telling my Dad my deepest, darkest secrets. But what I'm not fine with is that my Dad never calls, that the only way he'll come visit me is if I bother the shit out of him to do so, and that he doesn't take more interest in his children's lives.

I'm sure I can speak for all 4 of us kids by saying:
We don't ask much of you Dad. You've had 31 years of parenthood to get your shit together. We would love for you to be more proactive in the lives of your children--it could reap benefits in your own life. You're a talented guy, funny and have a vast potential to be loving. We just want to see and talk to you more. Happy belated birthday.

Love your oldest and therefore wisest;) daughter,
Amy Rae

dont get your panties in a bunch!

2010-06-13T06:44:00.001-07:00

"Are you fucking serious" were the words flowing from the 50something year old portly woman this morning. Early. 5am. Geez lady-do you kiss your mother with that mouth? I have a potty mouth to put many sailors to shame but at least I know how to tame it down.

I was waiting in line to check in & these two broads lugging 3 large pieces of baggage a piece-seriously with 25bucks a piece for checked baggage why would you have 3? A piece. Well I did say she was portly-perhaps those panties take up a lot of space?

Why was she flipping out & simultaneously entertaining me by being an ass in public? She couldn't get on the flight she was booked on. It was a little after 5 and her flight was at 530. Really lady?! Is this your 1st time or something? Because everyone knows you're supposed to check in a good hour ahead of time. If you're checking in an assload of baggage (pun totally intended) then you should come even earlier. Flights usually board 20minutes or so BEFORE your departure time, so really what the hell were you thinking? And why are you cussing out the poor lady behind the counter? She's not the dumb ass that didn't plan ahead & get to the airport in a timely manner. That lady behind the counter shouldve told bitchy lady to fly there on her broom stick. Or at least shove one where the sun don't shine.

Amen!

2010-06-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

Being true to my procrastinating self, I haven't written in a while. It's not due to lack of things to ramble about. I have plenty of shit to babble about. The main reason is that I was out of town. We went to visit family, see my youngest sister graduate from high school and went to a wedding. We were gone for what felt like a month but in reality was a week & a half-ish. My crackberry is usually glued to my palm when I'm at home, but during our trip there were numerous days where I only checked it once before going to bed. I have no issues with disconnecting from my virtual world, blogs, texts & social networking all included. There were a couple of times when I thought about pecking away a blog on my phone, but then quickly came to the realization that I'd rather daydream out the car window/share smiles with old familiar faces/gaze at the waves lapping at my feet while at the lake/fill in the blank.

For a little TMI, I haven't had my period since March. No, I'm not pregnant! I apparently suffer from Amenorrhea, which is missing periods. I guess I use the word "suffer" lightly, because it's not too bad of a thing to have. I mean really, who wants a period every. single. month?! Not me! Women take birth control that lets you not have a period every month. Some women are envious of me. The major drawback is that I may not be able to get pregnant or may have difficulty doing so, but that's another post in itself. The other setback is that since I skip periods I never know when I'm going to get the next one. Sure, sometimes I get warning signs, but other times I'm just Niagara Falls without forewarning. I have to carry tampons with me at all times. The past few times I've had it have been during very inopportune times! A nude cruise doesn't go too well with a tampon string dangling about. The next time was while visiting a friend--being a crabby, bloated bitch doesn't make for an entertaining guest. This time, I was at a wedding. That's right--I had my period during our trip. I started a day before the wedding (which was also the day of my bday)--the day I was set to wear not only a dress, but a very light colored dress. Fuck fuck fuck! Besides the inconvenient flow of unwanted blood gushing from my nether regions, my period wasn't so bad the 1st day so there were high hopes of it being a mild menstruation. Enter day 2 & the day of the wedding. I woke up with what felt like Freddy Krueger mutilating my ovaries. Then I sobbed & cried 3 months worth of extra estrogen out of my tear ducts. I felt so bloated & unattractive and was loathing the thought of putting on a dress and smiling. Then I took a Midol. Hallelujah for drugs!

Just call me P

2010-05-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

My middle name should've been "Procrastinator". Amy Procrastinator Miner. No, fuck that! It should be my first name. Procrastinator Extraordinaire Amy. Perhaps I should run down to the city hall and put in for a name change?! I'm not really sure when this gnarly habit first reared its unruly head, but its been with me all through adulthood. Now that I'm thinking back, I do recollect being on the school bus--to elementary school nonetheless--doing homework while the wheels on the bus went round and round. Why the hell was I waiting til the last minute to do simple times tables?

I sure didn't come out of the womb as a procrastinator. I came into this world full force, as somewhat of an overachiever. I busted out of that cell almost 2 months early; tiny (4lbs 4oz to be exact) but ready to conquer all that stood in my way. So why then now, do I put off everything in my life until I feel the breath of pressure panting down my neck? Does my body really crave the endorphins that are released as I'm sweating my ass off at the thought of not making it to an appointment on time/not getting an assignment done/ studying last minute/packing last minute/fill in the blank. Granted, I do work well under pressure but I would really like to be able to live like a "normal" person and just do things in a timely manner. Case in point: right now I should be studying for an exam, but instead I sit here and type. Go figure! Perhaps I'll try to work on this "problem" of mine. I will get right on it! Tomorrow...

Sandman, Please Come Back!!

2010-05-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

I used to sleep like the dead. I probably could have slept in the median of a busy highway if I was tired enough. It never mattered if I had a bed, a blanket or even a pillow. Just give me a sweatshirt to ball up or my boney forearm and I'd be good to go. In my early 20s my roommate would come home from work to find me zonked out on the only couch in the living room. Attempts to wake me were futile. Unbeknownst to me as I drifted through la-la-land, she would have friends over, watch movies, make noise--all without even a stir from my zombied body. Some days I would sleep until the next morning which was pretty awesome--or disgusting if you're an uptight clean freak--because I was already dressed for work (hey, I brushed my teeth & washed my face!). So WHAT THE FUCK gives as of lately?! I have been sleeping like shit:(

Take the past couple of nights for instance. I probably woke up 5 billion times. 5 billion agitating times. While Jeff snoozed away in bliss, I was tossing and turning, wide awake every. fucking. time! To add insult, the short times I was able to sleep were punctuated with uber weird, freaky, distorted dreams that I unfortunately can't fully recollect since I re-woke and re-fell asleep so many times. I realize that "back in the day" I worked outside in the heat which may have aided in my deep slumbers but the other weekend I walked 16 muthafuckin miles and still only slept 6 hours! I don't get it.

I like sleep. I relish in the fact that since we still don't have kids I can sleep the day away if I want. Sleeping is not a necessity. It's an event. It's something I like to do in my free time. I don't feel as though I'm wasting my day while I'm dreaming away. I'm just hoping that I'm having an off year (that's how long this BS has been going on). This inability to sleep in odd places or anywhere really is becoming quite the nuisance! I now hear every click-clack from dog nails on the wooden floors when I stay at my mom's, can't be anywhere near a snoring human (can hear that shit through headphones!) and every. single. time Jeff does his trippy PTSD induced nightly twitching I'm woken up. Please oh please oh please don't let this be a constant as I'm getting older. I miss my old friend sleep!
xoxo

Top 10 Realizations When Carless

2010-04-26T19:46:00.001-07:00

Bus drivers suck ass! Okay, so not all of them, but seriously, the bus I was on today was driven by a portly chunk of human being who must have been driving with someone else's feet. Or so it felt as he constantly accelerated fast, then let off the gas. Repeat. The bus swayed back and forth so much I almost puked.
It's possible to get slightly intoxicated from the alcohol fumes seeping through the pores of the old man in front of you. At 1 in the afternoon, nonetheless. Hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere right?!
I have time to read a book:) (unless I'm on the verge of yacking up my lunch).
Teenagers are effin' annoying! The route I ride stops at Tucson High and picks up a gaggle of these loud, obnoxious, trendy, horndogs. I don't remember being like that. Was I?
The bus is the perfect venue for one of my fave pastimes--people watching. Aside from the airport, the city bus has to be one of the best places to admire, cringe & laugh at the most interesting of human creatures. I <3 it!
Not paying for gas is pretty sweet!
Your friends will think you're crazy for walking 5 miles instead of calling for a ride, because you just feel like walking.
The phalanges and tarsals are good for more than just looking good with sparkly nail polish, snuggled into cute sandals. Feet--they're meant for walking.
Aside from being slightly inconvenient at times, life goes on without a car. Gasp!
You notice things you would normally never see when you whiz by in a car. I've seen a bright pink house, a lady help a man (who looked as though he was on the verge of death) smoke a cig, a bicyclist bust her face open & a vagina tree. That's right--apparently they grow on trees:)

Oh Crap!

2010-04-20T19:52:00.001-07:00

When nature calls, I normally have no problem answering. Even when I have to use a public restroom. I'm not one to play the game of being coy and pretending I don't shit. Yes, I am a woman. No, I do not magically digest my food in some super-human way where it dissipates from my body without gracing the depths of my bowels. Anyone who can really do this please let me in on your secret because not having to go to the bathroom would be really sweet!

I know some people that can barely go pee, let alone drop a deuce, in a public bathroom unless it's spic and span. I, on the other hand have no qualms whatsoever with going pee--whether it be a toilet, clean or dirty, or outside. I'm not some freak that enjoys people watching me, but if I have to go, I HAVE TO GO! I'll take the slight chance of splashing a little on my foot as I'm popping a squat as opposed to holding it in agonizing pain until a suitable porcelain feature can catch my flow.

Going No. 2 though is a different story. Happily, I've never had to do THE Do outdoors. To my recollection. If I have, I've erased that from my memory bank. I tend to have a sick & twisted sense of humor at times and rarely get offended. However, I don't do shit jokes. It's not funny to me, I don't want to see anyone going, I don't want to smell it and I really don't want to hear it! Peeing--I don't care if a friend is in the bathroom with me or if the door is open. Shitting--I don't want anyone within a 5 foot radius of the door. And if there's no fan to block out noise? I slightly panic. I've been known to turn on the faucet to drown out possible sounds. Not like anyone is sitting outside with their ears pressed to the door to listen to me drop the kids off at the pool. But you never know;) So, you can imagine how I felt when I was at school and had to go. "Hmmm...it's during class so there shouldn't be a bunch of people in there, I can go real quick and be on my way" was what the voice inside my head said. So being true to myself and going because I have to, even though I may not want to, I headed for the stalls in hopes that I'd have a few minutes of alone time. WRONG! I swear I must have picked the busiest damn bathroom on campus. These broads were coming in and out so often I was beginning to think I may be holding up some line that had recently formed. Then one girl came in. Then silence. It was just her and I, sitting there, waiting for a toilet to flush or someone to cough or a couple people to come in and talk & create a diversion. Silence. "Fuck! I just want to get this over with already. Why is there no music in the bathroom? What kind of place is this?" So I do what any normal woman would do--I flush and go as it's flushing. I'm sure it's blatantly obvious I'm droppin' bombs when I'm constantly flushing, BUT. I. DON'T. CARE! Relieved that I was finally relieved, I was washing my hands and said woman came out of her stall, smiled and commented on my shoes. At least she had a focal point to take her mind off the awkwardness.

just put a plug in it!

2010-04-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

This:

is what I've looked like all freakin' day! Even though I'm enjoying the beautiful bounty of flowers & blooming things the desert is showing off, I'm not enjoying the allergies that come with them. I'm allergic to Arizona! Seriously. I've had an allergy test done and almost every tree, grass and plant that grows here tickles my nose and scratches my eyes. It's so unfortunate because I absolutely love it here. I'll take the allergies dammit. Today has been by far the worst day. As the histamine pummels through my system I try to ignore my body being invaded from the outside-in. You see, I don't like to take medicine unless absolutely necessary. I don't get sick very often and when I get the sniffles I just deal with them, drink lots of H2O, maybe drink some Immune Boost tea and hope for the best. This usually works. The only sickness I usually suffer from is the occasional hangover & being that it's self-inflicted I suppose I can't really count that. Stupid wine! But now I feel as though the meak & easily ignorable allergy is morphing into some monstrous cold. Boo! Looks like I'm gonna have to kick this cold in the ass the "normal" way and take some drugs. I have a lot of homework, a 4.2 mile run tomorrow--Pat's Run, (which will most likely be me walking fast and almost passing out when I attempt to jog), a visit with the family and studying. I can't keep having people stare at me while I have this shit shoved up my nose. By the way, it's making my nose appear to be very, very bulbous, which it is NOT! The constant changing of my "plugs" is wearing down our TP supply and they don't seem to be helping. Ugh...they're saturated and the ooze is fastly approaching my top lip.

The Great Galant

2010-04-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

My car broke down recently. The beast. It may have to be put out of its misery. It's been in the shop for a few weeks, initially suffering from a mysterious ailment, with a recent discovery that it may be a pricey fix (for our budget at least). We have a long history, the beast & I. After all, it's the 1st and only car I've ever owned. I bought it in 2000. It has been very kind to me, taking me across numerous countries. After all, I had this car when I lived in Phoenix, Guam, Germany, Spain and now Tucson. It has seen more of this earth than most people. The beast has been neglected and abused by many, not just me. The following are highlights from its adventurous and arduous existance:

had its door mangled (& replaced) due to an attempted & failed break-in
took many, MANY Phoenix-->Vegas trips
survived a typhoon in Guam
broken window in Guam (I had to cover the window with plastic wrap, so I was able to see while driving, for a good month before a replacement arrived on island!)
a friend (Staci!) drove it into a post sticking out of the ground (she was the D.D.!)--this was the 1st of many "scars" to come
survived a cross-the-globe transit from Guam to Germany (oh how I wished the ship would capsize so I could cash in on the insurance)
drove everywhere in western Europe, on the Autobahn, at max speed of 120mph, consistently
a friend (k-nuts) drove it into a sign on the road (D.D. again! Geez what's wrong with these people!)

This ripped a huge hole in the rear bumper. When we went to repair it, he put on bondo, we started talking & when he went to smooth it out, it had completely hardened. I planned on sanding it down but never did. So now it looks like a HUGE wad of bubblegum is stuck on the bumper.

in Guam, electric workers drove away forgetting to disconnect lines from the truck to the electric pole. when the tension caused the thick metal wire to snap, it recoiled AROUND. THE. BEAST, missing all cars near it, scratching every surface of mine
has slid through snow, up & over curbs and medians
a weasel in Germany got under the hood & ate through one of the spark plug wires
drove me (with a little help from yours truly of course), all my belongings & 2 cats from Germany to Spain (almost 1400 miles)
had a few bouts with minor fender benders, adding more character to its rough exterior
has had belts changed once, couple of tire changes, new radiator, couple of tuneups, the occassional oil & air filter changers and all around has been an easy to maintain car, especially considering my neglect
has seen numerous occasions of being slept in, being puked in & on, and many a midnight rendezvous
has witnessed me cry over failed relationships, felt the brunt of my fist on the steering wheel and heard the laughter that resonates louder than any song I've blasted through its speakers

The red beast saw me through my 20's--literally, almost the whole decade! It's no wonder the thought of junking it, because honestly, noone in their right mind would actually buy it, is so bittersweet. I love my car, with all of its flaws. From the front bumper that's held on with safety wire (no thanks to someone else), to the cracked dash that I have to pound with my fist to get the speakers to properly work, to the missing wheel stud & broken glove box that's been removed for about 8 years now so "I have more leg room", to the peeling window tint, to the sun baked splotchy paint job. I love it all! I feel as though I am getting rid of a limb--a very neglected, beat up & shitty looking limb. But the thing that I love the most about my car (& that I'll miss dearly) is that it's paid off! Geez! I'm really not looking forward to buying a new vehicle. Shhhhh.....I hope the beast didn't hear that.

Oh Baby!

2009-06-22T23:28:00.000-07:00

One of my bestest friends, Jenn, is getting ready to have a baby. Very, very soon in fact! While helping with the planning of the baby shower, I volunteered to make the cake. And I said I'd make it match the invitations. Why do I bite off more than I can chew? I didn't procrastinate as usual, and actually made the cake a day in advance. I have a tendency of waiting until a few hours prior but decided against the stress this time around. Jenn didn't want the cake too girly or pink or baby-ish which is why I opted for the invitation look-a-like. Drum roll please........

The cake was chocolate with vanilla frosting and the lettering was done with fondant that I colored and then wrote on. The flowers were fondant as well. Fondant tastes disgusting but it sure is fun to sculpt and play with:) The cake was a hit and I can't wait to do more!

my first love

2009-05-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

It all began when I was just a wee little fetus. My mom would drink strawberry protein shakes almost daily. When I was born I had a red birthmark on my noggin. As a child, whenever asked what kind of cake I wanted, the swift reply was always "Strawberry!!!!!" with a hint of "duh!" added in for bonus. Even to this day I yearn for the days when strawberries are in season so I can eat them in mass quantity. Usually, I don't want anything tainting them. No sugar, no cool whip, no cream, no chocolate. I just want the strawberries. I just want to bite into the sweet, juicy fruit, feel the crunch of the seeds and savour every tiny morsel. And I love how strawberries have the green top on them--it's like a little handle. How many other fruits have a cool handle?! A few fun facts about strawberries:

~on average, each strawberry has 200 seeds!

~it is the only fruit with seeds on the outside
~it's name is believed to come from the fact that farmers would lay straw underneath the berries to keep weeds at bay and to keep the berries from touching the ground and rotting quickly
~strawberries don't ripen once they are picked (so never buy ones that aren't bright red!)

~they were the symbol for Venus Goddess of Love (perhaps because of their vivid red color & heart shape?)

~it has many medicinal uses, but unfortunately many people are highly allergic to them (sorry for you! more for me:)

As you can see, my love for strawberries goes deeper than my tastebuds. I even have strawberry scented candles, lipgloss and my favorite lotion from the Body Shop. I have to use it sparingly because I usually want to eat my arm it smells so yummy! You can imagine my delight when I was at a local market this weekend and found 1lb containers of strawberries 3 for $1!! That's not a typo! I swiftly loaded up my cart with nine pounds. Now that I'm thinking of it, I should've gotten more. My freezer is now loaded up with bags of strawberries--conveniently frozen for future use in smoothies. Of course I left a container out so I could just munch on them. I think I'll go have some more:)

Insalata Caprese

2009-05-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

This dish will always bring me back to my days in Europe. I'm so enthralled by its simplicity and complex flavors that I don't want to ruin it by writing too much. Just stare at the picture, and if you've ever tasted this wondrous dish, notice your mouth salivating. If you've never had it, go to the store and get the ingredients! Now! What are you waiting for?!

~fresh mozzarella (none of that processed hard block of shit you normally find). fresh is in brine or water

~plum tomatoes

~fresh basil
~extra virgin olive oil

Ajo

2009-05-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

We loooooooove garlic. When a recipe calls for 2 cloves, we use 5. We eat it so much that I sometimes fear the pungent scent is seeping from my pores. I have yet to hear any complaints nor have I seen people turning up noses in disgust so I guess I'm in the clear:) If vampires are real, they certainly steer clear of our house! During my daily jaunt on Craigslist I ran across an ad stating "Garlic Harvest Work Party". I'm listening!

Turns out, Forever Yong Farm harvests lots of garlic and if you join them you get to take home a load of garlic for yourself, plus enjoy a huge home cooked lunch. Granted, it's a lot easier to just go to the store and buy some but we wanted to get out in the fresh air and learn more about where our food comes from. Saturday morning we woke around 6am and drove the hour drive to the farm in Amado, AZ. Upon arrival to the farm, we were in love with the place. Just the journey to the farm was picturesque, lush greenery, rolling hills. It definitely didn't feel as though we were in Arizona. Though, once the noon sun rose higher into the sky, reality settled in and as sweat rolled into my butt crack, I knew we were indeed, still in AZ.

With the help of a group of locals from the community and neighboring farms, we plucked loads of garlic from the ground and also learned to bundle and hang it to dry. The labor was somewhat therapeutic and mind clearing. I felt as though this is something I should be doing often. Now I want a garden even more! It's definitely hard work, but very rewarding when you know the fruits of your labor will eventually be devoured in a savory dish. One that you helped come to fruition! We have a bundle hanging on our back porch, drying and I can't wait to cook with it!

jeff with a large bundle of garlic

me & others harvesting the garlic

wedding cake

2009-05-09T23:22:00.001-07:00

Thursday was my last cake class & for the final I had to make a wedding cake. To stay true to my procrastinating ways, I waited until the night before to even come up with a plan as to what style I was going to make. I wanted something simple, but not traditional. Something that I would enjoy looking at every time I open my refrigerator for the next week, as this cake slowly gets eaten away (by my boyfriend, NOT me--haha). Don't get me wrong, the cake is fantastic, but I don't need my daily intake of food to consist of cake!! It is super delicious though! Here is the final product. Not too shabby considering I've never done anything like this before.The cake is chocolate, with a chocolate espresso frosting. It is covered in fondant, which I didn't make but it is vegetarian. However, I did color the fondant myself which was a whole process in itself. The brown color used up a LOT of coloring to get the shade I wanted. Fondant is a lot like molding clay, and it is what I used to make the flowers as well. I've tried making roses with frosting and they usually look horrible. So I decided to whip up hot pink fondant and mold the roses by hand, and then painted them with edible glitter.

breakFAST smoothie

2009-05-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not too fond on making & eating breakfast. At least, not as soon as I wake up. However, whenever there is fresh fruit in the house, I load up on whatever we have and throw it into a blender to come up with this: (not a great photo, but you get it)There's never a precise list of ingredients. When it comes to deliciously mouth watering, juicy fruits does it really matter? Wait, that sounded like a starburst commercial:( They all taste fantastic and when in season they're even better! With these smoothies you're guaranteed to get your daily intake of fruit. This morning's concoction consisted of:

~banana

~lots of fresh strawberries

~pineapple & some of the juice

~orange juice (the Simply brand. i'm a juice snob and don't really like the taste of others)

~ground flax seed (for my dose of Omega3 fatty acids)

put it all in a blender and let it go! Try playing with the ingredient amounts and the type of fruit you use. Delicioso!

other fruits to consider:
~peaches, blackberries, raspberries, mango, the list goes on. Really anything that is fleshy & not hard will work great!

You could also add yogurt, plain or flavored. I don't do flavored because most have gelatin in them and well, I don't eat gelatin (that's a whole post in itself). You can also use water or other flavored juices.

Rise & Shine

2009-04-27T23:18:00.000-07:00

Today we made a scrum-diddly-umptious breakfast. Breakfast is, unfortunately, somewhat of an oddity in our household. Jeff doesn't have an appetite in the morning and I usually space about it until it's almost lunch time. We've been trying to get better with our morning eating habits as this meal is supposedly the most important of the day. Today we had:

~Tofu Scrambles
--tofu, fresh mushrooms, some seasoning--ie turmeric, cumin, s&p
--you can add any seasonings to achieve the flavor of your desire. tofu takes on whatever flavors you add to it
--drain the tofu, place all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook until there is no more liquid

~Fried Potatoes (okay, maybe more like sauteed & partially steamed)
--sliced potatoes, olive oil & fresh garlic
--place in a skillet, cover and cook until the potatoes are tender

~and my favorite part of today's meal: Fresh Strawberries & Blackberries
mmmmm delish!

a change to the change

2009-04-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

I’ve been slowly working towards a BS in Parks & Recreational Management through NAU, which is in Flagstaff (northern AZ). Obviously the courses are online so I don’t get the benefit of hands-on courses, which I really thrive on. I took a little over a year off while I was in massage school and started back this spring. As this semester is nearing its end, I’ve been doing lots of thinking and have decided to end this learning path and go in the direction of something else. Shocked?! Yeah, me neither! I change my mind like a hooker changes partners.

The thing with the Parks degree is that I could get a job at a national park—but I’ve looked at some of their internship programs and they don’t allow facial piercings or excessive tats. I spent the last 10 years taking out my piercings and covering up for work and I’m done hiding who I am! If I can't get a job somewhere that accepts me for me, then I don't want to fucking work for them. Plain and simple. I could still get a job with a city park I’m sure. But my problem isnt with the actual job or finding one, its with some of the required courses. About 10 of them, to be exact. I’ve been putting off all of these courses that have to do with planning, paperwork, building recreational programs, etc. I don’t want to learn about that shit. I could take the courses and do just fine, but the problem is that I have no interest in doing them whatsoever! I want to learn about nature. I want to take people on tours, guided hikes, educate them. I don’t want to make a plan for an after school program for one of the community centers. My lack of interest in these required classes got me doing a lot of soul searching and thinking about what interests me.

I love geography. There was a time in my younger years where I knew almost every country in the world and its capital. I know all the shapes of the states. I’m good with direction. I love to read & study maps. I can read a road atlas for hours, studying every vein of the roads traversing the pages, imagining what each place is like. When I fly, I HAVE to be in the window seat, staring out until we’ve reached high above the clouds and I can no longer study the natural and human made landscapes. When I was in elementary school I would close my eyes when I was in a car and try to figure out where I was according to which turns we took. Just in case I was ever kidnapped and blind-folded. Sick mind, I know! Haha. I never want to own a GPS unit for my car! I would be sad to never peruse a map again. With all that said, I’ve decided to go to the UofA, which happens to be in Tucson. I’m going to persue a BS in Geography with a focus in Cartography (map making). Whoohoo!!

Also, if you’ve read my foodblog (mindyourpeasandqs.blogspot.com) then you know how I love everything that grows. The problem is, I don’t know much about it! Ive always wanted a garden, always wanted to grow my own food and have always been intrigued by plant life. So I’m going to double major and get a BS in Plant Sciences with a focus in controlled environments (greenhouses). I’m super stoked to learn how to make plants have sex—hehe. I would love to become successful at growing some of my own food and then share my knowledge with my neighborhood—perhaps starting a community garden someday.

I’m really looking forward to the hands-on experiences that both of these degree courses offer. Yes, there will be classes that are uber boring and totally kick my ass but I have a feeling the good will outweigh the bad. I sent in my application a couple days ago. Cross your fingers & toes that I get accepted:) (and that i'm not the only "old" person in my classes--hahaha)

Pasta Salad with Dill & Feta

2009-04-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

This is a great cold dish that can be served as a side or stands alone as a complete meal. For the flavors to fully "pop" like they should, make sure to use fresh dill. The tomatoes I used were a small variety I found at a farmers' market. They weren't quite as small as a cherry tomato, but looked more like a tiny version of a normal tomato you'd find at a grocery store. They were sooooo juicy and scrumptious but I can't remember what they were called. Guess I'll have to go back and get more *sigh;) You can use any variety of tomatoes in this and I'm sure it will be good.

Sorry there are no pictures. This NEVER lasts long in our house.

~package rotini pasta (the twist kind)
~1/4 c olive oil
~2 Tbs balsamic vinegar
~lots of minced garlic
~salt & pepper (small amounts--just season to taste)
~tomatoes (as many or as little as you want) cut into wedges or bite-size chunks
~can garbanzo beans (chick peas), rinsed & drained
~6-8oz container crumbled feta cheese
~large cucumber, peeled & cut into bite-size chunks
~can black olives--chopped
~fresh dill, chopped (at least 1/2 c)

Cook the pasta. Drain it and rinse under cold water to cool it off. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, mix the olive oil, vinegar and garlic. Add the drained beans, tomatoes, feta, cucumbers, olives & dill. season with salt and pepper. Mix in pasta until everything is well coated and serve. Or chill in the refrigerator to be eaten later.

Lentil Soup With a Twist

2009-04-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

Usually when I make lentil soup I use lentils (duh!) and whatever random vegetable I have in the bottom of the crisper that is slowly at the end of it's life line--celery, carrots and maybe onion. Most of our soups are made on days between paychecks, days where the refrigerator offers slim pickins, or days when we don't feel like going to the store. We just gather what seems good together, throw it in a pot with some water or broth, if we're lucky enough to have any, and let it simmer for an hour. Simple and cheap!

This time I decided to make a lentil soup but embellished it. This lentil soup is a great twist on our normal, simple recipe. Costs more money to make because of the more complex ingredients, but it was delish!

~olive oil
~red onion, chopped
~lots of minced garlic (at LEAST 3 cloves)
~half a bag of dried lentils
~2 Tbs ground cumin
~1 14oz can of diced tomatoes
~1 Tbs honey
~3 bay leaves
~1 Tbs red wine vinegar
~plain yogurt or greek yogurt

In a large saucepan over medium heat, heat enough oil to cook the chopped onion & garlic. Saute until it is soft. Stir in the lentils and cumin. Then add the tomatoes (including any juices), honey, bay leaves and 7 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium. Cover and simmer until the lentils are soft. This can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. It really depends on your stove, how old the lentils are, the size of pot you are using. When the soup is finished, remove from the heat, remove the bay leaves and stir in the vinegar. Place the soup in bowls and add a dollop of the yogurt to each serving.

You Can Have Your Cake, But You Can't Eat It:(

2009-04-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

In my cake decorating class we had to make a cake for our midterm, decorate it and turn it in. I guess it's being sent to the fair for judging. I'm not sure though because I don't fully pay attention in class--just being honest. As is always, I procrastinated until the day before it was due, causing myself a slight bit of stress and lack of my nightly Zzzz's. After I baked the cakes, I went to the store to purchase stuff to make the icing. When I returned home, I noticed that my sneaky dog had reached up on the counter and nibbled away a large chunk of one of the cakes. Chocolate, mind you! Chocolate is bad for dogs. She's okay.
Here is the culprit:With a face like that, I couldn't be upset with her. After smelling the delectable aroma wafting in the air, I'd probably climb up on the counter for a quick taste too!

So it was back to baking. Then making two different icings. Then coloring them. Then assembling & frosting the cakes. It was then I knew I had make a mistake. Instead of going with a tried & true, yet disgustingly tasting frosting recipe my teacher had given us, I decided to use a new scrumptious recipe. NEVER use something new on a project. NEVER. The minute I put the frosting on the cake I knew I was going to have problems. It slowly started to slide down the cake. I tried putting it in the fridge so it would harden, but I knew after sitting around at the judging table it would end up a catastrophe. Oh well--can't change it now! So I did everything as quick as possible and this is what I ended up with:

Simple, yet pretty I think. (there are pink & purple polka dots all around the sides)

The next morning was a bigger fiasco than my sliding icing. We were to turn in our cakes by 9am. My teacher never showed! I honestly wouldn't have expected less from her. About half the class waited and waited and waited--about 2 hours! The school didn't even have a contact number for her. How lame is that?! Finally we got someone to open the doors so we could drop off the cakes. In spite of the fact that my cake probably now looks like a 4 year old made it, I better get an A for waiting around for her douche-bag ass.

Oh--and I found out that the cake isn't even going to be eaten! So realistically I could've decorated a piece of styrofoam and used the extra thick, gross frosting recipe from my teacher. Damn it! I could've saved the yummy cake for me!

Bean Wrap

2009-04-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

We like this recipe. A LOT! Depending on how many people are eating, you may end up with a good portion of leftovers. There are many ways to vary this recipe and I'll add those at the end. Feel free to tweak this as much or as little as you want.

~1 can each of pinto beans, kidney beans, black beans (rinsed & drained)
~1 can diced tomatoes with chilies
~1 cup brown rice
~ground cumin
~ground cayenne pepper
~multi-grain tortillas
~red-leaf lettuce

~some type of hot sauce--we use garlic chili sauce

Boil 2 cups water, add the rice, cover and simmer until rice is tender & water has cooked away. Season with cumin & cayenne pepper. Place the beans & tomatoes in a large dish. Mix well. Add the cooked rice and mix again. Assemble a tortilla with lettuce, rice mix & hot sauce. And you're done! Easy peasey!

*Variations*

~add corn to the mix
~omit the rice
~use fresh tomatoes
~omit the tortilla & lettuce and use as a side dish
~top with chopped fresh cilantro
~add sliced black olives

statistics

2009-04-09T16:47:00.002-07:00

I absolutely LOATHE my statistics class. I've always prided myself in being decent at math. Until I started this class. I am scraping by on the skin of my teeth. The only reason I'm taking this horrible class is because it's a requirement for my degree. Otherwise I wouldn't even give this class a second thought (I mean, why do I really need to know 50 different ways to get a statistic about something??). Every week I learn and then dump, learn, then dump. When this course is over I will have retained nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. To top it all off, it's an online class, which I'm sure is making it more difficult. As long as I'm diligent in keeping up with my homework I'm partially okay. My saving grace is the online bulletin board where all the students post questions, anwers to everyone's problems with the assignment. Without these people whom I've never met, I would have failed at this course already. Thank you strangers!

The Magical Fruit

2009-04-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Sing along with me--beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel. So let’s have beans for every meal!

I’m pretty sure I’ve known this song just as long as I’ve known my ABC’s. It must be a rite of passage into youth in my family because I remember numerous family members singing or humming this tune whenever beans were being cooked. I have no doubt that I will pass this on to my children. But “magical fruit”?? I understand that it rhymes, but why fruit?!
I’ve always known some veggies are really fruits. Like tomatoes, for instance. But what about beans? Is the song just a clever ploy to confuse & entice eaters? After all, aren’t fruits supposed to be sweet and juicy?

Fruits are classified as being the ripened and seed-bearing ovaries of flowers. Beans are considered a dry fruit. Apparently there are many fruits in the botanical sense but when it comes to culinary uses and descriptions they fall into the vegetable category. Beans are one of those. Think of them as one of the many cross-dressers in the food world. Now I like them even more!

Types of beans you can find EASILY at any grocery store, canned or dry:
~chickpea (also known as garbanzo bean)
~kidney bean
~black bean
~pinto bean
~mung bean
~azuki bean
~lima bean
~soybean
~fava bean
and the list goes on

You can enjoy these delicious protein & nutrient packed little morsels in numerous ways. They can be added to salads, soups and can be the sole ingredient in a standalone bean dish. They can be served hot or cold. But when devouring them don’t forget to hum the tune and remember you are really secretly eating a fruit :)

Squatternut Bosh

2009-04-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

If you are an avid Friends fan like I am, then you get the title ;)

Here's an easy recipe for a simple dinner using Butternut Squash, Green Beans & Mashed Garlic Red Potatoes. FYI--I don't use a lot of measurements in cooking (unless baking), especially if I am not following a recipe.

Butternut Squash, or to the scientific geeks, Cucurbita moschata.

It has a tough exterior yet a soft fleshy interior, like many people I know;) Butternut squash has a more delicate, lighter flavor than pumpkin. It can be pureed into soup, chopped, diced, cut into chunks for casseroles, or simply halved & baked. This recipe goes with the latter.

With a sharp knife, cut the squash in half lengthwise, like so:Next, place the halves in a baking dish, face-up & add water to the bottom of said dish. Lightly drizzle with olive oil, brown sugar & a dash of salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Cover with foil and bake at 425F until the flesh is super soft and can be easily pierced with a fork. If you've ever made a baked potato, it should have that same soft consistency in the center--that's how you know it's done.

Green Beans. Contrary to popular believe, green beans DO NOT grow in a can. They grow from the ground! I know, strange huh?! So many people steer clear of prepping fresh veggies because they feel it's time consuming and it's much easier to open a can or frozen bag. Oh so wrong and oh so sad! It's just as easy to prepare fresh green beans as it is a can of them, so I strongly suggest if you've never had them fresh you give them a try! They are crisper and pack more of a flavorful punch. You may never go back to the canned version again! And for those of you who have never seen them fresh, here they are in all their glory:

Simply cut off the ends, put them in a steamer and steam until tender crisp.

Mashed Garlic Red Potatoes. Again, this recipe has no measurements. Just play around with the ingredients to get your desired flavor and consistency. Boil a pot of water. Leaving the skin on, cut the potatoes in cubes. Once the water is boiling, throw those suckers in, cover and cook until you can easily pierce them with a fork. Drain the water. Add minced garlic, butter, margarine or olive oil and milk (I use soy or rice milk). If you aren't sure how much butter & milk to add, start with a small amount. It's always easier to add more than to take away if you have too much. With a handheld beater, mash the potatoes until you get the consistency you'd like, adding more butter or milk as needed. We like our potatoes a bit lumpy:)

If you try this meal, or any of the components of it and enjoy it, let me know!

hey baby, wanna spin on my pole?

2008-12-16T11:04:00.005-07:00

my whole body is sore right now. this happens every week around this time:( i can feel the tightening of my arms, the sharp pains throughout my stomach & legs & back. okay, maybe i'm exaggerating--its not SHARP pains, but its the good kind of workout pain. the kind that lets you know you actually accomplished something. my muscles hurt, yet i keep flexing them only to make them hurt more. i used to do the same thing when i had braces and the orthodontist would tighten them. it hurt to chew anything, but i loved how it felt at the same time when i did chew something. weird, i know. anyhoo, i'm sore not from running, not from some pilates vid (though i know my body and i would be sore from those too!). i'm sore from Pole Dancing!! i'm in a 6week pole fitness class. check me out: hahaha okay, that's not really me! i'm definitely not strong enough for that. if that was me i would need to be wearing a helmet because i'd most likely be crashing into the ground, full speed ahead!!
but i am in the course and i love it! it's fun and its a great workout. for those of you in Tucson, you should definitely give it a try: poledancingtucson
its guaranteed to make you sizzle!! i'm gonna go soak in a hot bath now

ring my bell

2008-11-21T20:31:00.002-07:00

It's that time of year again. You leave a store and there they are. Ringing & jingling their bells. They eyeball you and when you don't drop any money into their buckets, they yell "have a good night" just to make sure you make eye contact with them. Or maybe it's to make you feel like an ass for not giving. I always respond back with a cheerful "'night". But then I walk back to my car feeling lousy.

I'm broke as fuck right now! Sure if I actually used cash these days I would spare some of my change and place it into their buckets. But its usually few and far between when I actually have coins or paper on me. Even if I did give, the minute I come out of another store there's a fresh new face eagerly awaiting me to reach into my pocket and when I don't, I feel their eyes burning a hole into the back of my head. I can't give to them all! I can't dole out cash to every one of these fuckers standing outside a store front. I know they are there to try to collect and help those less fortunate. But instead of me feeling like I'm helping & doing a good deed, I feel pressured and judged. I wish they weren't there. I wish if you want to give to a cause, you can go to an agency and donate; not feel bullied.

And in the back of my mind I wonder if they are legit. I mean really, how hard would it be to get a bell and a bucket. I've seen them with a white plastic bucket before. That's it! Hmmm, what a great idea. I could use the cash.
*just joking.

mop top

2008-11-04T10:53:00.002-07:00

This is part 2 of the hair series. (read my previous blog to get an idea of what i'm talking about).

The hair show was fun. I gave them free reign to do what they wanted. I'm loving the color, but the cut...not so much. It's just hair--it'll grow. And maybe during the growing stage I'll learn to love it. We'll see.

The first day they decided what to do with my hair. Because it was a detailed coloring process, they did half my head that day, so that night I got to walk around with half blond with roots, and half dark chocolate with violet, red and blonde accents. I looked interesting, to say the least. The next morning, which happened to be after the Halloween party, was a bit hellacious. I'm sure I was still wasted when I first got to the show. The company I worked with did 2 shows--I had to be in both of them. The first was to explain the color technique, the second was to demo the cut. During the 1st one i almost puked all over the stage about 5 times because i felt like ass from the night before. Good thing my back was facing the crowd for the most part. After lunch was the second show and that went a lot smoother. I guess the color and cut technique I received is from their fall collection--so it's cutting edge (pun intended). I've never had a top notch 'do before! After the cut I had to walk through the crowd and let them touch my hair, take pics, etc. This is what it's supposed to look like but I'm no good at doing hair, so it only looked near this on the day of the show.
Here I am getting my makeup done--before I got the rest of my head colored and cut.

I don't have any pics of my new look. Not normal ones that is. For being in the show we got free food for 2 days. Plus after the final show we got a goodie bag filled to the brim with products--over 100 dollars worth! They could've shaved my head for all i cared. haha! I'm broke. And I looooove free stuff:)

chop-chop

2008-10-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

well everyone,

today i've volunteered to be a guinea pig for a hair show. today i go in for a consultation; the artist tells me what they want to do to my hair and if i agree it gets cut, colored, whatever. then tomorrow is the hair show. i'm excited and scared simultaneously. if they tell me i'm getting a mullet--then i'm backing out. sorry folks, as cool as they are i obsolutely can NOT rock a mullet. other than that i'm gonna go with the flow. maybe they'll give me a style that i never would have thought of getting myself. but maybe, just maybe, my haircut will be fugly and i'll cry. but then my hair will grow back quickly and besides--i have lots of hats and wigs:)

Pesto & Broccoli Spaghetti

2008-10-14T14:02:00.003-07:00

Here's a new recipe we just tried the other night. It's a combo I never would have thought of making but was yummy! And if you have kids but can't seem to force veggies down their throats, this is a good way to disguise the veggies. I'm sure you could top off this recipe with a red marinara sauce to disguise it even more. That actually sounds good...

Pesto & Broccoli Spaghetti
1 package spaghetti 3 Tablespoons olive oil
1lb fresh broccoli (chopped) 3 cloves of garlic (or more!!)
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese S & P to taste
1 cup vegetable broth (without this the recipe is dry, but still good)

~Cook the pasta in boiling water. While it's cooking steam the broccoli.
~Place cooked broccoli, broth, parmesan, oil, garlic, S & P in a food processor-blend until smooth.
~Drain the pasta when it is finished. Place in a serving bowl. Add the broccoli mix; toss to cover the pasta.

Tonsillolith

2008-10-09T10:48:00.001-07:00

*WARNING*total grossness ahead. proceed with caution

For the past two years I've been suffering from some mysterious thing. The first time I noticed it was when I lived in Spain. I felt like I had something caught in my throat. I was constantly clearing my throat, gargling with water/mouthwash, excessively swallowing, ANYTHING to try and alleviate the annoying sensation that was occurring in the back of my throat. I also noticed a foul taste in my mouth. So I looked in the mirror and began to do a self-exam of my oral cavity.

Some background info--my tonsils are huge. Beyond huge! They are humongoid! I've had many dentists freak out about their size. "Wow! Those are some huge tonsils!". Yeah, I know! They ARE in my mouth! My huge tonsils cause me problems. When they are sore or inflammed it almost feels as though my throat may close off. Doctors refuse to remove them.

Back to the story. In my huge tonsils I noticed some white chunky things. I began to poke and prod around. A hard, slimy yellowish chunk of thing popped out of my tonsil. It left a gaping hole in my tonsil. I immediately began to freak. I've never done an extensive examination of my tonsils before. I learned later that the hole or crypt in the tonsils is normal. But it wasn't the hole I was freaking about, it was the foreign object that was worrying me. I swallowed and looked in my throat again. Damn! There was another one! So I pushed around on my tonsil, which made it start to bleed, until that little fucker popped out too. Then there was another, and another. I first thought maybe it was food. But it had the consistency of partially cooked rice. I knew I hadn't eaten anything like that in a few days so that couldn't be it. I decided to smell it. That's when I almost puked all over the floor. Holy shit those things stink! I asked the doctor about them the next time I went in and they gave me a perplexed look, had no clue what I was talking about and dismissed my question--so I never mentioned them again.

These things come and go. There will be months that go by without any sign. Then one day, like today, I'll wake up with a disgusting taste in my mouth and that annoying sensation in my throat, run to the bathroom and low & behold I'm infested again. So today I decided to do some research. Thank you internet and the endless amount of people with their infinite knowledge:)
The things are called Tonsilloliths and they look like this:

They are a bit mysterious. From what I gather they are the calcification of bacteria, dead cells, etc. and can be caused by overactive salivary glands, infection and can be the cause of hallitosis. I've always prided myself on having decent breath. But now with the influx of this shit I'm worried I have stank mouth! I've never had anyone cringe when I'm talking to them, but I notice a distint disgustingness in my mouth when I'm having a flare-up, so what if others are noticing it too?!?!?!

At least now I know what it is. But how do I stop it? There is no cure. I wish someone would just cut these fucking tonsils out of my head! They get in the way. They are a nuisance. And they prohibit me from *ahem* the art of deepthroat.

Hope You Have Comfy Shoes

2008-09-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

I was driving down the street today and saw a guy standing on the side of the road in a bright blue polo shirt and khaki shorts. He was standing right on the edge of the street, near the curb. He was staring in the direction of the traffic flow. Weird! At first I thought he was waiting for a bus, but why would he be staring the wrong way? Did he have eyes in the back of his head? Upon further observation I noticed he was nowhere near a bus stop. Nor was he remotely close to any corner. He just stood there looking lost along a barren stretch of dirt and concrete. That's when I noticed it. Two cars ahead of me bright brake lights slammed on. A dingy old red car darted from the curbside across two lanes of traffic to make a U-turn. I passed the car. I passed her. She was crying her eyes out. Now the mystery was solved...or was it? Now I had an answer as to why this guy was looking so forlorn. The blurry eyed maniacal driver had kicked his ass out of the car. I'm assuming it was an abrupt stop too seeing as though we were nowhere near an intersection, driveway, anything that would have made for a smooth exit. I imagined a bunch of "I fucking hate you"'s and "I can't believe you called me fat. Get the fuck out"'s. Or "No! I will never let you put it in my ass you pig gettouta my car!" Sadly, I will never know their drama. I'm sure what I've conjured up in my head is a more entertaining story anyhow.

some muthafckin bullsht

2008-09-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows I love to travel. Sure, I like the occassional roadtrip but I prefer to fly. It's faster! When I have some place in mind to go I WANT TO GET THERE. I don't like to waste a majority of my vacation driving. So you can imagine my dismay when I received an email from Continental Air (my frequent flyer airline) and read this bullshit: http://www.continental.com/web/en-US/content/travel/baggage/checkbag.aspx?camp=ADHC&campyear=2008&sender=EMAIL_MKTG&language=EN&description=Firstbag

Quick synopses: they are charging $15 for your first checked bag, $25 for a second. So if you are a family travelling with checked luggage--do the math. I usually travel light but it's nice to check a piece of luggage so I don't have to lug it around. I've had many occassions where I've had to run to my connecting flight and it's way easier without luggage in tow. Aren't they already charging enough for flights, now they have to charge for fucking luggage too? What if everyone stops checking because they don't want to pay? What the hell are they going to do with all the luggage space? Sell it to companies to offset their gas prices perhaps? I haven't looked to see if other airlines are charging for luggage. If they aren't I'm sure they will be soon.

You know, if the US had a superb train system like the rest of the world that would be a great option for travelling. But no!!!!! I can't even take a train from here to Phoenix.

So what to do? I guess I'll just complain some more and then jam all of my shit into one bag that will fit in the cabin. Look for me--I'll be one of those annoying people holding up the line as I try to stuff my oversized bag into the overhead compartment:)

Beep Beep

2008-08-25T17:56:00.001-07:00

We were driving the other day and saw a creature that made me giggle. It always makes me giggle when I see one! What is it you ask? The Geococcyx, better known as a Roadrunner.

There it was, darting across the road at full speed (but without Wil E. Coyote in hot pursuit). I've seen them numerous times since living in the southwest, but don't know much about them. So I decided to do a little bit of research. Here's what I found:
The Roadrunner is considered a ground cuckoo. They can grow up to 18-24in in length and 10-12in high. Roadrunners can run at speeds of up to 15 miles per hour and generally prefer sprinting to flying. If they are being chased by a fast predator they opt to fly.
Here's something really sweet--they are monogamous and a pair may mate for life.
And there you have it; my nerd blog of the month:)

uber cool

2008-08-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

i was driving. i saw a guy on a motorcycle. said guy had no helmet (guess he's too cool). said guy had a passenger. said guy was smoking a cigarette while driving. and i repeat--HE WAS SMOKING WHILE DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE! seriously?! you need it that bad! what a tool!

poppin'

2008-08-08T15:51:00.001-07:00

jeff loves and i mean LOVES cheesy pop music especially when it's a girl singer. i don't get it sometimes. but here he is, rockin' out, err i mean poppin' out to Miley Cyrus during our roadtrip. enjoy!!

jeff

ay-meeeeee | MySpace Video

on the road again

2008-06-24T15:49:00.001-07:00

One more day and we are out of here! We go to the STP concert tomorrow night and then thursday morning we hit the road:) "I can't believe you are driving instead of flying" said the naysayers. I think it's going to be a fantastic time. We are leaving Tucson, heading east towards NM. We're going to drive through Roswell hoping to find our lost alien families. Okay, so not really, but neither of us has been there so why not pass through on our way. If we find something cool, great! If not, then we know not to go back:) Then we are going to Chicago, the Bend & Chattanooga with a few pitstops along the way. Then I'm back in time to start my next school. I'm going to use every fucking cent of that GI Bill. I don't care if I have to take the most unusual, obnoxious classes to fulfill this dream of mine. haha. I'm going to miss my massage school graduation though:( I really wish I could be there but we have our minds set on this roadtrip so I can change it now. You bitches have fun at the grad & even more fun at Tens. Wish I could be there to watch the insanity that I'm sure will ensue at the strip club. And to all of you not going to see STP for their comeback tour, I'll make sure to rock out with my cock out for you. What?! You didn't know I had a dick? Fools!! Why do you think Jeff loves me so much? haha (he's gonna kill me if he reads this)

much love,
~me

food galore!

2008-06-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

We were in Phx again this past weekend and went to a kind-of farmer's market not too far from my mom's house. It's an actual established building & store and is opened every day. We don't have anything like that in Tucson. We only have the kind of farmer's markets that are opened once a week. Boo! And we've tried two of them and they both sucked (though I'm sure maybe we were just there at a bad time...i have faith!). Anyways, we've been to the one by my mom's before so we decided to hit it up before we headed back home. I really, really, really wish this place was near us seeing as though it would save us SOOOOOOOO much money. Here's what we got (bear with me & the long list):

~6 little avacados
~2.7lbs roma tomatoes
~4 16oz containers of strawberries
~4 12oz containers of blackberries
~3 red bell peppers
~5 orange bell peppers
~4 lemons
~2 artichokes
~4 granny smith apples
~4 peaches
~1lb bananas
~2lb bag of baby carrots
~1lb broccoli crowns
~1 large head of garlic
~2 pears
~2.5lb bag of green grapes
~2lb bag of cherries
~4 red plums

All of this for only $23.57!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would have cost about $70 at least at a regular grocery store. Craziness!

older times

2008-06-02T15:19:00.002-07:00

I was in Phx hanging out with my mom last weekend and we stumbled upon a used book store. This place was going out of business. Fortunately it wasn't due to the huge stores like Barnes & Noble. The young guy at the front desk said the owners wanted to retire and decided to close the doors. I wish I had gone into the store before! Everything was 60% off. EVERYTHING! We easily spent a couple of hours in there, perusing the endless selections of old & newer books, all while listening to a vast collection of The Beatles:) There was this huge stack of National Geographic Magazines. I could have easily spent hours looking at all of them and even more money, but I chose just a few that really caught my attention and made me all giddy inside. The oldest one I purchased was from January 1919. It had a story about Chicago and how extraordinary and cutting edge the city was. Here's a few snipits from the magazine. Also, a few ads that I thought were nifty. Just imagine what people will think when they read magazines from 2008, in about a century.

check out the Chicago skyline! if you've never been there, google what the skyline looks like now!

Whoooo check out those bathing suits. Scandalous!

I can't even imagine being able to buy a car, let alone a brand new car for under 2 grand. what do you think that equates to in today's world?

i saved the best for last;) see what Listerine was used for in 1919. it wasnt just your ordinary mouthwash. that shit burns my mouth, i couldnt imagine putting it anywhere near my vag as they recommend doing. eeks!

Hey! Did that hurt?

2008-03-13T14:56:00.004-07:00

Unfortunately, this post is not about me getting new tattoos:( Jeff got some gnarly ass work by Jay @ Sanctity here in Tucson. They are Japanese Nio protectors. There are a few versions of them, carried in different cultures but have a similar meaning behind them. The one with his mouth open, Agyo, is to scare off demons & also represents birth. The one with his mouth closed, Ungyo, is to shelter & keep in good spirits & also represents death. Check them out so far:

JEFF LOVING LIFE!

AGYO ----------------------------------------------------------------UNGYO

tata!

2008-02-11T14:38:00.006-07:00

The time has come everyone! I am down to the last 20 some odd hours of my enlistment. When I started my terminal leave I thought I would feel as though I was on regular vacation time, like I would have to eventually go back to work. But honestly, I never felt that way. I KNOW that I'm never going back. And it doesn't feel very odd to me at all. The only thing that feels odd is that after so many years of being able to enter a base at my leisure, after tomorrow I am banned for life. Weird. I haven't had the urge to put on a uniform, to wake up at 530am or to bite my tongue at the proverbial BS that has consistently flowed from the mouths of my coworkers for the past decade. I can finally break the law, if I so want, and not get screwed by both the regular cops and scolded & punished by the Air Force as well. Gotta love getting fucked twice. Now, I'm not saying that I plan on regularly breaking the law, I was just stating a fact;) I honestly can't fucking believe that it has been 10 years though. Holy fuck how time flies! There's been sooooo much that has happened in that time frame that I don't even know where to begin. Many have asked me if I feel different. No...not really. I'm still me. I've always rebelled as much as I could even when I was in, so it's not like I'm off doing a bunch of crazy shit now--nothing more than usual. I also don't regret getting out, nor do I regret the time spent in. I loved the past 10 years and most of the people that entered my life during that time. I wouldn't have traded it for the world! However, the military & I didn't always see eye to eye so it was just natural that we part our ways:) So for all of you that I've met throughout my AF career I want to say thanks. You are the ones that kept my laughing and kept me semi-sane. Make sure you keep your couch open for me, because I'll be traveling your way soon:) For those of you who never quite got what it was I did in the Air Force, here is a quick photo montage that commemorates the gorgeous camo ensemble that I wore like a second skin--haha:

This is where it all began--Lackland AFB, San Antonio, TX (BMT or Boot Camp to those that only know Hollywood jargon). I was there for 6 weeks beginning Dec 29, 1997

Then I was off to my Tech School in the armpit of America--Shepherd AFB, Wichita Falls, TX. I was there for almost 6 months learning how to be a grease monkey. Next I went to my first assignment--Luke AFB in Phoenix, AZ. I spent my first 4 years there. I even won Maintainer of the Year--yay me--haha (who knows how the hell that happened).

This is me on a field deployment in the middle of the desert, playing war (it was actually fun!) I even got to ride in a Blackhawk Helicopter

This was my luxury accommodations for the week
Besides, my normal mechanic job I got to drive Hummers, big 5 ton trucks and even accompanied the radio guys up on top of the mountain to fix a tower radio (or something like that. I just volunteered for the view & to get out of work--haha)
I really planned on getting out after my first 4 years, but then September 11 events unfolded and I was stuck in. I didn't have any plans for a job or school so I couldn't get a waiver to get out. All I could do was wait. During that time the AZ Diamondbacks were in the World Series. I got to be one of the people holding the flag on the field while Jewel sang the National Anthem. It was pretty kick ass. So anyway, I waited, and waited more. Then one day I smoked crack (not really) and reenlisted--for 6 years!! Eeks!! (I think the next day I might've thrown up in my mouth a little--haha)
Right after that I decided I was ready to travel. So I requested to go to Andersen AFB in Guam and I was off. I spent 15 lovely months basking in the sun and killing my liver. It was great! I also got to witness & live through a horrible typhoon, got my boating license and went to Australia--the one country I've dreamed of since my youth.

Here is a pic at my Airmen Leadership School graduation (Staci & Rose I miss you!!)

Then I was off to cold ass Ramstein AB in Germany for 2 years. As most of you know this is where I caught the traveling bug and did the vast majority of my wandering. In Germany is where I became a vegetarian, excelled at driving a stick shift, pushed my car to over 110mph continuously on the Autobahn, tried tons of new foods that I never would have dreamed of, bathed in nude spas & topless beaches, learned how to snowboard (well kind of--haha), and somehow managed to finish my Associate's degree.

This is me during a pie in the face fundraiser. Thanks guys;)

This is during a TDY I went on. It was for the Paris Air Show in...well, Paris, France duh! I got to hang out with a bunch of hottie pilots:) Here's me in one of the Army helicopters.
After my time in Germany, I was off to Moron AB in Spain. I spent 15 months there, both loving it and at the same time hating it. You had to live there to know what I'm talking about. Here I perfected the ability to stay up super late & party until the wee hours of the mornings. Hey--when in Rome... I also excelled at doing no work, but pretending to do lots. It was probably the easiest, slack job I will ever have in my life. And I also learned quite a bit of Spanish, though I think I've forgotten a lot:(

This is me volunteering to pass out Thanksgiving dinner to some of the deployed dudes (and chicks). Lunch lady land.

The base I was at was an alternate NASA landing site, so one time during an exercise we got to meet some of the NASA dudes. Not sure if this guy was an astronaut, but I think so
Then I left sunny Espana for even sunnier Davis-Monthan AFB, Tucson, AZ. When I first got here I knew I had exactly a year left until I got out. My new bosses, on the other hand, were clueless. They put me in an office job (yay no more smelling of grease & fuel). I don't think they were too happy when they found out I only had about 7 months left. Haha--got you fuckers!!

Here's me pretending to look studious:
That pretty much wraps it up. I bought a house & am a little over halfway done with massage school and am ready for the next chapter. Bring it on!!

poo poo platter

2008-02-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

so, here's an article i read in the Tucson Weekly last month that I thought was funny and true. it's a wee bit long, but take a gander if you have some time.
~amy

PUBLISHED ON JANUARY 10, 2008:
O'Sullivan
Don't pick up dog crap, and save a sea turtle as a result!
By CATHERINE O'SULLIVAN

Back when I went to college in the '80s, there was a catchphrase popular among philosophy and political science professors. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times: The personal is the political. It means that decisions individuals make in their daily lives are, in themselves, political statements.
So as we usher in a new year, I've resolved to become more politically active: I am going to stop picking up my dogs' shit.

I've been thinking about doing this for some time--mostly because I'm lazy--but also because it's the right ethical decision. At the dog park, massive amounts of doo-doos are sealed by conscientious persons via plastic grocery bags meticulously tied in knots. These bags, or doo-doo bombs, are then concentrated in garbage cans piled high with fast-food bags, soda cans, plastic packaging, more bagged doo-doo, more random junk, and on and on until the cans overflow. These semi-laminated stratigraphies of waste are every bit as awe-inspiring as they are compact, and on an anaerobic level, especially during the heat of a Sonoran summer day ... ewww, I don't even want to think about it. But, clearly, plastic-encased dog crap is not only everywhere, but underneath everything. The question becomes: How is all this shit ever going to biodegrade?

According to Alan Weisman, author of The World Without Us, it isn't. Plastic grocery bags, besides choking sea turtles who mistake them for jellyfish, are every bit as nasty as we ever thought they were, and probably worse. Oh, yeah, some of them might be photodegradable, meaning they could eventually fall apart in the sun, but when deprived of air and sunlight, plastic bags really do hang around for fucking ever. It follows that the contents therein must also.

Decades ago, plastic was relatively unheard of. Then a guy called Leo Baekeland, trying to come up with a new kind of shellac, mixed up a bunch of phenol with formaldehyde and invented Bakelite. He got rich, and we got telephones made of something other than wood, along with a bunch of kitschy shit that now sells for hundreds of dollars in antique shops down in Bisbee. The production and evolution of plastics ramped up during World War II, and by 1975, the National Academy of Sciences had estimated that oceangoing vessels alone dumped 8 million pounds per year of the stuff into the oceans. The world's commercial fleets by themselves dumped 639,000 plastic containers every day.

Then things went from bad to worse. As anyone who's ever bought a bargain brand of bottled water will tell you, some plastics do break down, but they never break down enough--polymers are long molecules--and all those broken bits of plastic containers eventually wind up in the food chain, consumed not just by sea turtles, but fish, crustaceans and even krill, tiny shrimp that feed everything, from whales to penguins to fish. The sad fact is, the majority of creatures in our oceans are now on diets heavily supplemented with what Weisman calls polymer crumbs. The extent of the damage that this modern dietary supplement is causing has yet to be measured. And when it is measured, I don't think I want to hear about it.

But back to plastic bags: They don't degrade in the landfills, and even if they manage to actually complete the trip from one end of a loggerhead to the other, they don't degrade in the oceans. Mostly, they wind up in circular aquatic garbage dumps called "gyres." The North Pacific Gyre, east of Japan and north of Hawaii, is bigger than the state of Texas and contains approximately 3 million tons of visible plastic. That's six times more plastic than there is krill in the same 1,000-mile area.

But enough about plastics. A much more environmentally friendly element comes out of a dog's ass: Dog shit, as far as I can tell, degrades fairly easily. Rain, wind, car tires, shoes, feet, hooves, skateboards--all these things are positively boffo and break it up into micro particles. After all, the stuff dogs eat is mostly organic (except in the case of my old dog Leroy, who once ate so much aluminum foil that it was extruded the next day in the form of a perfect silver turd) or at least relatively polymer-free: cornmeal, rice, animal byproducts, lamb, beef. All these things break down into reasonable-sized molecules that the environment can handle.

When you consider all this, what's the big deal about having to grab a tree branch and scrape a turd off your shoe?

vroom vroom

2008-01-13T13:29:00.001-07:00

my mom is probably going to kill me when i finally tell her about this. i just learned how to ride a motorcycle! ive been on the back of them as a passenger before but never drove. i went through an actual Basic Riders Course through one of the community colleges here. its something i'd always wanted to do but always procrastinated on. so finally i said fuck it and me & jenn signed up to do the class. they take you through the basics. tiny baby steps. at first i was so scared. i was nervous about having to shift, etc. but once i turned that sucker on and felt the power between my thighs (haha that sounds so pornographic), i knew i was going to love it! and i did. i do! its so exhilarating! now all i need to do is come up with some cash flow to purchase a bike!!

*i promise to always wear a helmet, protective gear & not drive beyond my knowledge. i want this to be fun, not a death sentence

Hunger Get What Hunger Want!

2007-12-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

first off, i love those snickers commercials--they make me giggle. hehe

i left the grocery store today feeling a wee bit perturbed. i spent $80 and didnt really get much! i wasnt even wandering the aisles on an empty stomach throwing everything into the basket that i could get my grubby little dick beaters on. NO--i went there with an agenda, with a list. and it wasnt even an extensive list. it was just a list of things to get for christmas dinner. i even purchased the store brand products when available. $80!! fuck! now i know why half of america is obese! its much cheaper to go to a fast food place everyday, get a couple of things off the dollar menu and called it good. think about it...say you get a couple of meals at one of those joints a day. you spend $9 total (if you go the cheap route). times that by 30 days in a month and that equates to $270 a month. OR you go the traditional route, cooking your own meals and spend an average whopping amount of $320 a month (using 80 a week). thats just a rough estimate. the former giving you quick meals, at a cheaper price, ease of no dirty dishes, etc plus an artery blockage in the making (yay!!). the latter brings you possibly more nutrition making you feel complete but hurting your wallet more and taking away from the precious time you already dont have as you slave away at the stove. which do you choose?

whirlwind of time

2007-10-08T12:19:00.005-07:00

Corona Arch, Moab, UT

i'm back in school again--2nd quarter started. damn time flies--soon i'll be old and dead:( but during my 2 weeks off, i got to see my Tara:) we went to Moab, UT to pick up her munchkin and do some hiking where my lungs almost exploded. damn i am out of shape! but it was so beautiful there & well worth the possibility of the collapse of my entire respiratory system.

then my friend from waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day, from IN came out for a visit. yay Dana! we hadn't seen or talked to eachother in 7 years--up until our high school reunion. and you know what, it was like we never skipped a beat. thanks for visiting. i had a blast!

so, i have a favor to ask from anyone reading this. in one of my classes i have to come up with 10 adjectives to describe myself. but it feels weird describing myself. so i'm asking all of you who know me best, my little loved creatures out there, to send me some adjectives. and please don't send "crazy" or "bitch", etc. we know these are true, but i need positive words. haha! thanks in advance.

oh yeah, for those of you lucky enough to be in AZ, don't forget about the halloween party on the 27th. there will be plenty of drinks, food & places to crash!

xoxo

10 year reunion

2007-08-31T11:49:00.001-07:00

REUNION! in a nut shell--the reunion was, surprisingly, a blast. it was great seeing everyone. blah blah. i look forward to seeing everyone more often. blah blah. here's some pics:)

now & then

now & then (CAC club reunite!)

like fine wine, we get better with time.

misses peebody

2007-07-27T11:47:00.001-07:00

so yeah...i'm back, all in one piece from my reunion & very very short time back in IN. it was a very tiring trip seeing as though i worked all day thursday, drove an hour & a half to phoenix, hopped on a plane where i couldnt sleep because ol' dude next to me was snoring in my direction, got into Chicago at the butt crack of dawn, drove 2 hours to my dads, crashed for a couple of hours, hung with the family, went to bed late, woke up early the next day, got ready for the reunion, blah blah blah, left the next day. so i know some people are upset i didnt get to see them. but you know what--HOW ABOUT YOU COME VISIT ME?!?!?! sheesh! hahaha! the reunion was pretty fun. i wasnt exactly sure what to expect. me & claudia were, of course, the hottest ones there. mwahahahaha. but seriously! it was great seeing everyone after all these years.

my computer is fucked so i cant put pics up of my last month. there's a lot, with the reunion & randy & t-ray coming to visit during the 4th. we went to a bar when they were here and this muthafuckin slutbag at the bar peed on the fucking floor. i'm ordering some drinks, feel some splashing on my feet figuring its someone spilling a drink. so i turn to move & look and see this fucking bitch in a short jean skirt pissing in full force on the fucking ground. ON PURPOSE! then her & her friend giggled. i tell you that it took all the force in my body to contain myself & not grab her by her frizzy fucking hair & grind his snoody little face into her piss. what a dirty bitch. uh!

Romy & Michelle

2007-07-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

This Saturday marks a momentus event in time. My 10 year high school reunion. HOLY FUCK! My partner in crime from way back is flying into Phoenix and then we are both flying together into Chicago and then road tripping it to South Bend. I'm not quite sure what to expect at the reunion, but i'm sure there will be some stories. Unfortunately I will be there a really, REALLY short time. I get in SB friday and then have to fly out sunday:( so, sorry if you are reading this & you live there, but i most likely wont get to see you (that is unless you will be at the reunion) because I don't have much time. so, i'm off to pack my bags. and remember....I invented post its!! :)

Zzzzzzzz

2007-07-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

i really do wish there were more than 24 hours in a day. or perhaps less of that spent at work. i cant wait till im no longer a slave to the man. 6 months tomorrow baby!! but really, more like 5 months because of my leave. or really like 4 and a half months because of the holidays & outprocessing AKA fucking off:) i have roughly 129 work days, give or take a few. and i have never been more fucking ecstatic in my life! i feel like a stale loaf of bread doing what it is that i do and couldnt be any more enthusiastic to begin chapter 3 of my life!!

i started massage school on monday. FINALLY! i've been wanting to do this for a long fucking time. i'm in school 6-9pm monday-thursday and then on saturday from 9am-3pm. so, i pretty much am already exasperated as far as energy goes. i'm up around 530am and its go-go-go until i get home around 930pm & unwind, etc. I was going to the gym after work but that doesnt work now. I'm thinking about going after school, but dont know if it'll make me wired & wanting to stay up later. guess i'll have to give it a go--don't really have many options at this point. anyhoo--i dont graduate until june of next year, so i'll need all the encouragement everyone can muster. its going to be a tough ride, though i'm hoping it will be easier come february when i'm a free bird! if you give me enough praise & kind words, maybe i'll give you a freebie--massage that is.;)

on another note, my fucking 10 year high school reunion is coming...real soon...as in next week!!!! holy shit! see some of you soon:)

gotta run...must....take.....a....power.....nap

new baby

2007-07-01T11:21:00.001-07:00

This is Chanelle.

She is the newest member of the family:) she's about a year and a half old and such a huge sweetheart! the people that had her before just didnt have the patience for a dog i suppose. they liked the idea of having a dog, but not taking care of it. they didnt take her for long walks, got upset with her getting on the furniture & even upset when she got sick one day & it happened to be on the carpet. sooooo...without much persuasion we took her in. and she's been loved to death ever since:) she's a pitbull, but doesnt have clipped ears & tail. she doesnt bark, growl, listens very well. basically she just wants to be loved on all day. we love her! the cats, on the other hand, weren't too fond of her at first. they still arent in the same room. we are keeping them separated for now--just letting them get used to her smell, etc. i think after another week we will introduce them. wish me luck:)

oddball????

2007-06-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

after a mindless conversation yesterday, i decided that i really like words that end in SKS. tasks, desks, asks, etc. they sound really nice when they roll out of the mouth. and they move the tongue around in your mouth a lot. makes it kind of jump up & down. like a little trampoline in your mouth. TRY IT!! call me weird but i get a little bit of pleasure in hearing them. especially if they are pronounced clear & concise. i've been told that i hold onto the end of words--kind of draw them out sometimessss and the sks words do this greatly. only problem is, i cant think of many more of them.

numb

2007-06-22T11:18:00.001-07:00

we saw 311 last night and they were awesome. it was the first show of their tour. well done boys, well done! on another note, my jaw hurts---and not from doing anything wild & provocative;) i got a filling today and felt like a stroke victim half of the day due to the numbness in half of my mouth. end of randomness...

hodge podge

2007-04-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

what a funny word, that "hodge podge". who comes up with these things? just like "blog". did it even exist before the advent of computers? hmmm...i'm gonna invent a word or at least bring on the spread of a less used and abused word. i dont really have much to talk about here, so whoever is reading this i'll say sorry in advance for wasting your time for however long this ramble will happen to go on. i just bought a house. my first one ever! i'm such an adult now! hahah! i get my keys on the 30th and i'm pretty stoked about that. its definitely not my dream home nor is it in a locale that i would dream of, but its a pretty good start! i'm very happy and i cant wait to start decorating, painting, etc. and since i really dont have any furniture and the small amount i do have is all old, used crap i'm pretty much starting with a clean slate! the only obstacle now is the million different ideas i have floating in this skull of mine. i'm slowly but surely getting settled into Tucson now. i dont have many friends here so i naturally hate it. but this always happens when i move. i complain about the lack of social life, i hate the new place, am sad to have left the old and then WHAM! i meet a gajillion (okay maybe i like to exaggerate) people in like a week's time frame and then i'm non stop, go go go!!!! on the up side i've been saving some cash flow, which for most of you who know me well know that this is definitely a very rare occurrence. what the hell am i going to do with money when i'm dead?? spend that shit now! anyhoo, i just got my hair done tonight. pretty smokin! haha! hmmm...okay i've lost interest in writing this, so ta ta!

adult version of me

2007-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

yippeeeeeee! i just got the keys to my first, very own house today. i'm super ecstatic at the fact that i'm not only officially an adult now (haha) but i also have a place to permanently call home. though i have a strong wanderlust that i'm sure will tug at my will to stay grounded, i'm calmed at the thought of having a place to really call home. i'm sure i'll still venture out and about from time to time but the next couple of years will be calm in comparison to the past few. i've got lots of big changes coming up in the near future and its time to take care of some business. anyhoo, pics will come soon, as i plan on decorating, painting, etc--the whole shabang! so when any of you want to tour beautiful, sunny AZ, you have a comfy bed to rest your weary head! (and did i mention an awesome tourguide? haha) xoxo

feeling it

2007-01-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

song of the day...fueled by lunchtime discussions

-------------------------------------------------------

Let Them Eat War by Bad Religion

Theres a prophet on a mountain and he's making up dinner
With long division and riding crop
Anybody can feel like a winner
When it's served up piping hot

But the people aren't looking for a handout
They're America's working corps
Can this be what they voted for?

Let them eat war
Let them eat war
That's how to ration the poor
Let them eat war
Let them eat war

There's an urgent need to feed
Declining pride

From the force to the union shops
The war economy is making new jobs
But the people who benefit most
Are breaking bread with their benevolent hosts

You never stole from the rich to give to the poor
All he ever gave to them was a war
And a foreign enemy to deplore

Let them eat war
Let them eat war
That's how to ration the poor
Let them eat war
Let them eat war

There's an urgent need to feed
Declining pride

We've got to kill 'em and eat em'
Before they reach for their checks
Squeeze some blue collars
make them bleed from their necks
Seize a few dollars from the people who sweat
Cause it's freedom or death and they won't question it
At a job site the boss is god like
Conditioned workhorses park at a stoplight
Seasoned vets with their feet in nets
A stones throw away from a rock fight
But not tonight, feed 'em death

Here comes another ration (feed them death)
Cause they're the finest in the nation (feed them death)
But there's nothing left to feed them
When it's freedom or it's death

Let them eat war
Let them eat war
That's how to ration the poor
Let them eat war
Let them eat war

There's an urgent need to feed

Warp Speed Ahead

2007-01-08T10:41:00.000-07:00

i can not even begin to express how much disbelief i am in when i think of how fast time has flown this past 15 months. it all began with me inGermany, very anxious to move again, packing up my belongings, bidding farewell but not goodbye to friends, and hitting the autobahn, sights set west towards Espana. i only drove during the day light because i wanted to see as much of the country side of France & Spain as i could. i even slept in my car those few nights. i made it all the way here, 20 some hours, without getting lost (whoohoo) and arrived at the tiniest, shithole of a base i could have ever imagined. i couldnt believe that this was where i would be calling home, where i would have to be almost every day of the year for 15 fucking months! i got along well with my coworkers, but outside of work was pretty stale in comparison to what i had grown accustomed to. first, there was the language barrier. i'm used to other european countries where people speak english. i guess i was expecting to be spoiled once again. but instead i was forced to babble my way through my harsh version of spanglish. it turned out to be a very good thing, because i've learned more than i could have ever dreamed! secondly, none of my coworkers went out and did things that i was interested in doing, so i felt a bit lonesome. then, perfect timing for a first impression at a new job, i got super sick to the point that i ended up in the ER. but here's the best part--i had to drive myself to it (about an hour away). after almost a month, i started to recover and my friend B from Germany came out for a visit. then came the most nerve wrecking, stomach turning event of my life...the day i finally got to meet Jeff in person. we had been talking for about 5 months by then and absolutely adored eachother, but had yet to physically meet. on x-mas of 2005 we finally had the chance. and everything went great! not only did we get a chance to get to know eachother, but we also went exploring--something i had been yearning to do since the moment i stepped foot in spain. we toiled around in Sevilla, went south to Tarifa (a place we've been back to numerous times since), and Gibraltar. all good things come to an end, and Jeff had to go back home. the next month i went home to AZ & IN, he came out to AZ to meet some family, i went to VA to visit his and then we decided to be crazy people and decided for him to move to spain with me! also while in AZ i got the chance to see some friends i hadnt seen in a while, namely getting reunited with my heterosexual life mate Claudia ;) and meeting her cutie patudie son Evan. i also got to meet my brilliant little cousin Sera.

jeff joined me shortly after i arrived in spain. and then the months of non-stop-go began. we went canyoning in an area called Grazalema (a combo of rappelling, hiking, swimming for like 5 miles). totally grueling but oh-so fun! then i got the chance to my first rock climbing experience. and not just some ordinary, boring, inside a gym rock climbing. No! we were down near Tarifa and once you reached the summit you could see the blue ocean, sandy beach and Africa in the back ground. breathtaking! next on the agenda was a trip to Germany for work. it was a short stay, but great nonetheless. then we went on a hiking trip in a national park, hiking & camping at Cabo de Gata along the Meditteranean coast, back to Germany for the biggest, baddest rock concert ever--Rock am Ring, where we spent 3 days in filth rocking out with an ass load of friends from various countries. dont know what r-n-r is? look it up! and dont miss it! after the concert we hopped in a car to do some exploring in Austria & Lichtenstein. then it was back to spain. one more rock climb and then Jeff had to go back to the states for 3 months.

i decided not to let this be a deterent and i went on a rafting trip by myself, met some great people, hung at the beach. and then i got to play rent-a-cop a work which turned out to be a great thing because i was pleasantly surprised in the people i met while pulling this duty. if i hadnt of, who knows how boring my summer would have been! we went to Lagos, Portugal numerous weekends throughout the summer and i ended up getting in a little bit of trouble at work for having topless pics of me on the net and elsewhere. they're just boobs! sheesh!! we ARE in europe! as the summer dwindled down, Feria season started up and thats where i got in a fight with a man. thanks again you little bitch! we all took a trip south to Torremolinos to dance the night away. i went rock climbing again. then 2 of my boys from germany came out and we partied it up atFeria, and in Portugal. and this summer i figured out what i finally want to do (besides massage) with myself when i grow up. and i got admitted to the university i wanted!

Jeff was finally able to come back (unfortunately he missed the whole summer). but once he arrived here it became a whirlwind of go-go-go! not only was i now taking classes, but we went to Paris and Morocco his first couple weekends back. then we threw a killer Halloween party. next was Amsterdam where we partied with the band. HIS favorite band, might i add! also, we went to Italica, the roman ruins not far from our house and then Tara & Co. came for a visit, upon which we drove a vast majority of the Med. coastline, bringing us back to Cabo de Gata. next we hopped on a plane headed to the Canary Islands, where we spent 10 days exploring 3 islands. then came x-mas, snowboarding inGranada, new years in Lisbon, which wraps it all up and brings me to here. just 28 more days left. a short visit from my friends Toe & Ang, a possible short trip to somewhere else and in a blink of an eye i'll be gone. but not forgotten. i'm going to miss europe like you would not believe. but i'm excited to get back to my family. to have a place that i can officially call home. and i'm really looking forward to finally traversing the states. but i shall return! and i'll see all you bitches again. mark my words! mwah!

me oh my!

2006-11-17T10:31:00.001-07:00

i gave Jeff his early x-mas gift--tix to see As I Lay Dying (his current fave band), Bullet for my Valentine, and Protest the Hero. where you ask?? in Amsterdam! i rock! haha! so, this was last weekend and it was one of the best times i have ever had! we did normal touristy things, strolled along the streets & canals, red light district, Heineken brewery, comedy show, etc but the highlight of the trip was the concert. first off it was in this hall called the Melkweg. what a great fucking venue! its not very big so you get a great spot to see the band and if you dont feel like fighting the bonecrushing crowd and diving flying boots to the head, its great to chill near the edge where there are elevated steps. this is where i was so i could rock out in my own little bubble, and still see the bands clearly without having to bust out the binoculars. before the show me & jeff got to talking to this dude Mike from Protest the Hero's merch table. we decided to party with the band after the show. so during the concert (which was fucking fabulous) jeff got on stage and then jumped into the crowd. then his crazy ass climbed up onto the speakers like the little monkey he is--they must have been 20 feet up and with the urging on from the band & crowd, he fucking dove into the poor suspecting weenie armed crowd (haha). what a nut! needless to say, he was the hero of the show and when we met up later with the bands they were like "whoa you're that crazy fuck! you're awesome, blah blah blah". then we commenced to partying with the guys. and by partying i dont mean being in the same room as them and 100 other people. NO! it was the bands--As I Lay Dying & Protest the Hero, their roadies, and me & jeff. they were only in town for a few hours before heading off to Paris so we just hung at a local bar, got some food, sang some drunken songs before we went our separate ways. they were some of the nicest guys i've met in a long time! what a great fuckin weekend!